Interruptions well worth it

I'm having a moment, and I have these often, where I just feel like I absolutely must write something but once I sit down in front of my keyboard my eyes look far past the screen into the deep corners of my brain and I unconsciously travel to a thought in which...

Never mind. Daisy just entered the room and asked me thirteen times, "what is the wish that you choose... and what are those? What are those two things? What are those two pink things up there? On that shelf, Mommy. When you get up you can see them." (She's referring to two wrapped birthday gifts that are not for her). Sigh. I love her dearly and all of her daylong chatter and her bright questions and adorable little face and the sixteen games of Hello Kitty UNO we just played but man alive, can I get ten minutes? Can I get five?? Shoot.

This is inevitably what happens every time I start a new blog post. Which is why you see my posts maybe twice per year. There was a time when I would write daily. And it meant a lot to me to do so. Whether in blog form or journal. Now I'm best on a post-it-note. Something like this:
Rummy - vet
Glasses
Bedding.

Gives you chills, doesn't it?

Well, hey, we can't hold on to our hobbies and favorite pastimes forever, right? At least not during the first, say, six years of your child's life anyhow. You may be wondering why I don't just plop down and write after the kids go to bed at night. That's a good thought. But that isn't my creative time anymore. That's the time when I need things to entertain me because I've been sapped of all creative power since about 7 pm. So reruns of The Golden Girls coupled with a few pages of a Mindy Kaling book and I'm happy as a clam... until I fall asleep mid-enjoyment thus ruining my "me-time" (and I absolutely despise that term by the way but that's neither here nor there).

"I want to take my belt off but I can't!!!!!!!.... Oh, never mind, Mommy. You can wear this belt... cuz I don't want to wear it..... It looks like a necklace." {Places the "necklace belt" right on top of my mouse}.

Back to my nonsensical train of thought. Where wasn't I? ...

"Mommy, when I hold my eye with a hand it only leaves one eye open! Wanna see me do it? And it goes back up again!!"

I love her. Daisy is just amazing. She's the sweetest, most thoughtful and caring and selfless child. Her heart impresses me. Truly. She's currently learning to read and she's doing really well. It makes her so proud, she smiles the whole time. Watching her sound out those words are some of the best moments of each day. Her will is super strong. Which is incredibly challenging most times but comes in handy a lot too. It has been a true pleasure to be home with her these past few years. She will be starting school in the Fall and she's SO excited about it. I hope it's everything she hopes for.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have an UNO rematch to attend with my little charmer.

"Alexa, play 70's rock."

the refund purchase

Here's something you didn't know about me - I'm not a "laptop person". In fact, I never thought I'd own a laptop. Ever. I never could picture myself at Starbucks with that classic venti latte in one hand, my smartphone in the other and my neat computer staring at me with seemingly unimportant things to read or write on the screen. I'd never be the one lugging my wireless notebook all around town in some fancy bag only to plop down in a spot that evokes inspiration so I could spit out a quick blog that I'm pretty sure nobody reads anyhow. I would certainly never book a trip so I could carry my laptop on an airplane while worry floods my mind, When do I have to shut this thing off and will I hear them tell me with my ipod blaring?? Nope. Not me. I'm the gal who spends 78% of her time utilizing her smartphone and the other ... ah shit, I suck at math ... 22% on my clunky, chunky desktop PC on the second floor of my home. The desktop computer is rarely available however due to my daughter's crib being two rooms away and me being a very loud and annoying typist.

That's why the laptop idea started to bounce around in my shrinking brain.

I had also started a writing project in February that I had hoped to work on for an hour a day, most days. Well, due to my Clydesdale-fingers, my baby girl wasn't getting a good nap in during the afternoon anymore. My blog posts were becoming fewer and fewer and I wasn't able to read as many as I normally would either. I wanted to simply maintain Sheribloggins, work on my project and keep up with my favorite bloggers' latest posts. Not too much to ask. But was it enough to make me purchase a laptop???

When my husband and I heard of our tax refund we decided to not pay bills with it this year. We were each going to get something that we really wanted that was out of our normal price range. Something that we would get a lot of use out of, something beneficial. He knew right away what he wanted, some new weights and a power tower. I, being the ever-over-analyzing jerk that I am, went back and forth for over a month on the laptop idea. Do I REALLY NEEED IT?? Am I going to commit to this writing project? Am I sure that I can't just use my desktop at some point each day? Who even reads my blog anyway?? Why do I need to maintain daily posts?? Is there something else that I have been wanting that I could use the money for?? I tortured myself with these stupid questions until two days ago when I finally gave in and just bought the damned thing. I got a Dell Inspiron based on what I wanted and what the sales person suggested. He was fantastically helpful and didn't try to up-sell or get me into something that I clearly didn't need. And I'm happy with it so far.

One of my biggest fears was that I'd become too obsessed with having this portable wonderland. I didn't want to have it take over my nights once the baby was set in her crib. So far I have found a good balance. In the morning, after I get my chores out of the way and make the coffee, I check email and maybe read a blog post or two. Throughout the day I may pop on for a half hour or so and if there's a hockey game on at night I'll spend those hours on here while Gregg watches the Flyers. I don't want to drift too far from my husband as our free time together has become sparse as it is. I do admit, it has been nice to squeeze in more writing. And I have found some new blogs this week that I am enjoying. This is the newest - Sometimes Sweet. Check it out and come back and read my blog too... after all I DID buy this laptop essentially for YOU!

spare time goal

Inspired by The Lightning and the Lightning Bug's prompt I have decided to let you in on a little secret. Well, it's not a true secret because I have told a few people. It's about what I am committed to these days. And no, it isn't my beautiful family - that's just a given. I will never be anything BUT committed to them. However, I have the determination bug again and this time it's a cute one.

I am working on a new children's book. For those of you that don't know, I have previously written a children's book that is yet to be published. (I am also committed to getting that published one of these days). The thought came to me while I was reading to Scarlett one afternoon. Ya know when something basically bludgeons you in the face with the force of a cast iron frying pan? That's how this idea made itself known. It was so simple and so obvious for me and I am one thousand percent committed to it. It does require a lot of effort, a lot of dedication and a lot of constant brainpower. I have all of those things available to me and I am forcing myself to use them beyond their limits. The first book I basically wrote in one afternoon. This one could take me a year. And that's fine; I am not giving myself a deadline. Deadlines seem to make everything feel like a rushed chore. This is my spare time goal, for fun and for a sense of accomplishment.

I am putting this out there because it helps me to focus. I have the drive and I have the creativity. I guess I could just use a little more free time. Even though I remain unemployed my free time is divided up between baby care, errands, showers, laundry, cleaning and meal prep. So how will I realize this dream? When Scarlett takes her 'used to be daily but is now more like once-a-week' marathon nap I race to the computer to tap out some progress. Otherwise I can write out a few quick blurbs while feeding her a bottle and watching Seinfeld reruns. I sneak a few lines on scrap paper as they come to me whether in my car or whilst writing out the grocery list. I keep a notebook close by at all times to record any lines that are not to be forgotten. And, as always, I pluck inspiration from everyday life.

I intend to report back to you in a few months with news of my major progress or by chance a celebration post upon completion of this project. Reading Dr. Seuss to my daughter is always going to take precedence over working on my book but I'll make it happen. Wish me luck! And I wish YOU luck in whatever you are working toward!