I don't wanna be a kernel!!!

Well, the rumors (that you heard from me) are all true, I have deactivated my Twitter account... again. I know, it's a shame... @sherib0bbins no longer exists. What will the world DO?? How will my former Twitter followers go on with their lives without knowing what songs I played for Scarlett during her breakfast?? It's a tragedy, really.

Twitter seemed like a good idea about two years ago when I started my Etsy shop (which also no longer exists). I joined and networked and plugged and played the game. But I never fully got into it. I didn't want to spend my time trying to get followers and I didn't enjoy it. It wasn't long before I ducked out. I had no reservations about it and didn't miss it one bit.

This time was different. I re-joined Twitter in January for different reasons. I wanted to find like-minded bloggers and new moms. Within days I had found plenty of both. I was engaging in lots of conversations and accumulating followers quickly. With a bunch of new blogs to read and answers to my baby food or teething questions I was quite satisfied.

Things took a turn after a couple of months however. I started to notice the incessant plugging of blog posts. Friends were tweeting links to their new post several times daily and sometimes three or four times within an HOUR. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with doing that, I just wasn't aware that people did. Then I saw people voting for blog posts and learned there were blog awards. Bloggers were entering endless contests and asking for votes. I started coming across tweets with tips on how to "grow your blog" or things like, "10 biggest blog mistakes." I wasn't in on any of this! Sure, I would tweet a link to my post every now and then but not ten times a day. I didn't join any contests. I had no idea about blogging awards. And I didn't realize the time-consuming science behind creating a super-duper read-worthy blog. Hmmph. It got me thinking... I'm clearly not doing enough and I don't measure up.

But I quickly realized... I'm not trying to compete.

I never started my blog with the thought that it would become this big, successful site that people would love to visit daily. I didn't work to try to get people to follow it. Sure, I add links to most of my posts on Facebook, and the reason behind that is simple: I would like  for people to read it. But I can't base my life on how many page views I get (or don't get) daily. It's too stressful! It's not going to break my heart if you don't enjoy reading The Scarlett Letters. I fully understand. Do you realize how many blogs are out in the universe that I wouldn't give a second glance? I suspect that mine is one of them to many, many, MANY people. I offer very little - no tips or tricks, no daily recipe, no fashion or fitness advice, no remarks about the Bachelorette or RHOBH. What I do offer is a glimpse into my life. A peek at some of my thoughts. Updates on my little sweetie-pants. Occasional rants. Many ramblings. And countless mundane facts and observations.

I left Twitter mostly because I felt like a kernel of corn amongst many, many cobs. I don't like that feeling. At its core, Sheribloggins is for me. My blog is basically an extension and evolution of my former journals. I write because I feel like I'll boil over if I don't get rid of my racing thoughts. It's like my fingers are antsy. Blogging is my way of releasing built up sentences that can become like a wordy traffic jam in my head. Compare it to a very angry or scorned soul that uses the gym to blow off steam. I also blog because we grow so much in our years and seldom realize how far we've come. My archives help to remind me. And I like the thought of leaving a little something behind for my daughter ... and maybe her children. Maybe not quite as interesting and entertaining as The Hunger Games or the Twilight saga but it's what I've got to offer. I don't have many followers, I don't even know who subscribes or who faithfully reads every post. What I do know is that I'm much obliged if you read it, happy if you enjoy it and always appreciative when you let me know about it. At the same time, I don't blame you if you hide  me from your Facebook news feed.

I will miss some of my Twitter friends. Luckily the majority of them were bloggers as well as new moms so I can catch the baby updates on their posts. Social media can be so overwhelming. I've learned I can control it and keep it right at the level that works for me. I don't have to succumb to the pressures of the overly-connected networking world. After all, life is only as busy as WE  allow it to be, right? (Stay tuned for a future retraction of the latter statement)

the refund purchase

Here's something you didn't know about me - I'm not a "laptop person". In fact, I never thought I'd own a laptop. Ever. I never could picture myself at Starbucks with that classic venti latte in one hand, my smartphone in the other and my neat computer staring at me with seemingly unimportant things to read or write on the screen. I'd never be the one lugging my wireless notebook all around town in some fancy bag only to plop down in a spot that evokes inspiration so I could spit out a quick blog that I'm pretty sure nobody reads anyhow. I would certainly never book a trip so I could carry my laptop on an airplane while worry floods my mind, When do I have to shut this thing off and will I hear them tell me with my ipod blaring?? Nope. Not me. I'm the gal who spends 78% of her time utilizing her smartphone and the other ... ah shit, I suck at math ... 22% on my clunky, chunky desktop PC on the second floor of my home. The desktop computer is rarely available however due to my daughter's crib being two rooms away and me being a very loud and annoying typist.

That's why the laptop idea started to bounce around in my shrinking brain.

I had also started a writing project in February that I had hoped to work on for an hour a day, most days. Well, due to my Clydesdale-fingers, my baby girl wasn't getting a good nap in during the afternoon anymore. My blog posts were becoming fewer and fewer and I wasn't able to read as many as I normally would either. I wanted to simply maintain Sheribloggins, work on my project and keep up with my favorite bloggers' latest posts. Not too much to ask. But was it enough to make me purchase a laptop???

When my husband and I heard of our tax refund we decided to not pay bills with it this year. We were each going to get something that we really wanted that was out of our normal price range. Something that we would get a lot of use out of, something beneficial. He knew right away what he wanted, some new weights and a power tower. I, being the ever-over-analyzing jerk that I am, went back and forth for over a month on the laptop idea. Do I REALLY NEEED IT?? Am I going to commit to this writing project? Am I sure that I can't just use my desktop at some point each day? Who even reads my blog anyway?? Why do I need to maintain daily posts?? Is there something else that I have been wanting that I could use the money for?? I tortured myself with these stupid questions until two days ago when I finally gave in and just bought the damned thing. I got a Dell Inspiron based on what I wanted and what the sales person suggested. He was fantastically helpful and didn't try to up-sell or get me into something that I clearly didn't need. And I'm happy with it so far.

One of my biggest fears was that I'd become too obsessed with having this portable wonderland. I didn't want to have it take over my nights once the baby was set in her crib. So far I have found a good balance. In the morning, after I get my chores out of the way and make the coffee, I check email and maybe read a blog post or two. Throughout the day I may pop on for a half hour or so and if there's a hockey game on at night I'll spend those hours on here while Gregg watches the Flyers. I don't want to drift too far from my husband as our free time together has become sparse as it is. I do admit, it has been nice to squeeze in more writing. And I have found some new blogs this week that I am enjoying. This is the newest - Sometimes Sweet. Check it out and come back and read my blog too... after all I DID buy this laptop essentially for YOU!