15 randoms

1. It never fails when in the morning, after initial chores, the very second when I sit in my uncomfortable chair and fix the three awkward pillows behind my back just so and reach for my coffee to have the very first sip while it's hot - Brody barks from outside for me to get up, go into the kitchen, obtain a cookie and hand it to him through the slider door.

2. I hate having to walk past people looking for donations when I come out of (or walk into) a store. I mean, I get it - most of us have had to do it at one point or another for school or what not... but I've come to realize that it's easier to just give a buck rather than awkwardly fooling with keys or sunglasses ... or pretending that a seagull is chasing me.

3. Much to my surprise, I absolutely love Instagram. I am such a fan. I love looking at creative photos from strangers across the globe. I find that my favorites are mostly from the Netherlands and Australia. I participate in blogger Fat Mum Slim's photo-a-day challenge and I love it. It's not easy to fit the prompts on a daily basis - but it's a great creative outlet. {I'm @sherib0bbins by the way}.

4. I've created a little Chapstick-loving monster. Scarlett sees me apply Chapstick and lip gloss routinely and is naturally intrigued. She now has her own special Hello Kitty lip balm and is not afraid to apply it all over her face. Liberally.

5. I tip well for a person of limited means. I can thank my harrowing days and nights as a waitress for that. For those of you who don't know this - servers rely on their tips, their paychecks are usually laughable. They are ordered around and often treated poorly on a daily basis. It's not a glamorous job, it's by no means an easy job and just think about what your world with be like without service workers. TIP them. And tip them well.

6. I really love watching old episodes of Who's the Boss. I'll tell ya, that Mona, she's a hot shit. And I love the dynamic between Tony and Angela. It's both funny and a little sad to watch shows that I enjoyed as a kid and now side with the "older" characters.

7. The foods that I seem to eat the most of are: eggs, whole grain bread, chicken breast, beans, greens, turkey, dark chocolate, pizza, cheese and frozen yogurt. Quite an odd mix there.

8. Soon, our new living room chairs will be delivered! Gregg and I each picked out a new seat back in early December, on our anniversary. My old recliner was shown the curb in November and his is on its last leg. We bought those when we moved into our first apartment ten years ago, it was a good run. We are planning to break them in by spending a very comfortable night watching movies by the fire.

9. I watched that Lifetime Movie Network remake of Flowers in the Attic. Hoo Boy. I mean, the original had a cheese factor too but at least it was haunting and kept me nervous. I assume when someone "remakes" a film their intention is to make it better than the original... right? Definitely fell short on this one. Nine times out of ten I watch movies like this just to see the creepy old house. {One of my many obsessions}.

10. Pet peeve #23: I greatly dislike when I'm in line in a store and the customer in front of me is being super friendly and smiley and is truly pleasant - only to be met with the grumpiest of all cashiers. I feel like I always have to chime in and intercept their friendliness so they don't feel badly. I know some cashiers aren't thrilled with their position... but kindness is kindness. We take it where we can get it. And we should always give it back.

11. I love Valentine's Day decorations. I know the day itself is corny and a big money-making scheme but I enjoy pink, white and red and I LOVE heart-shaped everything. Gregg and I don't do flowers or candy (okay sometimes candy), we don't go out to dinner or anything but you know I'm scouring the shelves for clearance items to pepper my home with for everyday enjoyment.

12. I like Maxwell House Master Blend. There I've said it. I grew up on it. I used to brew it in a Farberware percolator for the best piping hot cup. When the Keurig came along I still chose MH. I just use the refillable K-Cup everyday. Of course I like Dunkin and Starbucks. But at home I'm a Maxwell House girl.

13. Even though Scarlett isn't a baby anymore I still sometimes tear up when singing her lullabies. Baby Mine? Did you ever try that one? "Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine" ... ugh.

14. I feel like I can never see another movie in a theater and be fine with it. I don't know, the big screen somehow lost its luster for me when HD TVs came out. I'm happier watching in my living room draped in fleece with frozen yogurt.

15. "Drunk Uncle" is currently my favorite SNL character. I get the whole "Make it a treat" thing but I wish he was on more often.

thankful...

One:
Obviously I'm going to say my health and my family and friends first because otherwise I'm a big, dumb liar - also even though this list is in random order I'd look like a jackass putting a K-cup above my own child.

Two:
The refillable K-cup. It's just ingenious in a really obvious way. I want to invent something ingenious in an obvious way. Damnit.

Three:
Counter space. I am blessed with lots of kitchen counter space. I'm always listening to people complain that they have none and I just nod with a half smirk/half womp-womp lip.

Four:
Music. I really don't think I've ever spent a single day in the last ten years not listening to music by choice. My playlist is a reflection of my mood - unless I'm listening to Ice-T because I am quite certain I'll never feel that dope.

Five:
Central Air. I am that person who hates the heat. I love the beach but otherwise I'll kick a summer right between the eyes. I hate sweating for no reason. I hate keeping Scarlett inside on really hot days because I just can't stand to be at the boiling playground or in our full-sun backyard. I lovvvve having central air. It is well worth the $9K we spent three years ago to replace our old-ass unit and duct work. I'd go without cable, frozen yogurt and even good shampoo if I could always bask in the c/a. Bees knees times eleven.

Six:
Flip flops. Sound ridiculous but they are just the most versatile footwear! I know Stacy and Clinton would not approve as they've stated a million times that they were made for the pool or the beach. True. But I think they were also made for: walking around the house, the playground, the grocery store, my mom's house, the park, window shopping, actual shopping, the salon, doctor's appointments, taking a pet to the vet and even library trips - if you don't flip too loudly. When you can't find the right shoe to wear a flip-flop almost always comes to the rescue. Aside from highlighting my tree-stumpedness, they're super. 

Seven:
Efficiency. I love when I can call a company and just get my issue rectified without any hassle. It's very rare but it does happen occasionally and it's worth mentioning here. 

Eight:
Make-up. This became overly apparent as I jokingly took 'before and after' pictures today that were frightening enough to stop a bird mid-soar. (I'll admit that I made the before picture look extremely heinous just for the over-the-top 'after reveal'). Honestly though, who doesn't love the option of being perked up a notch when you are looking (or feeling) a little haggard? 

Nine:
People that say 'God Bless Her' for my daughter. Growing up, many family/extended family members would offer this little prayer and I always felt special when they'd say it for me. As these beloved people passed away I noticed the blessing went with them and the newer generations didn't carry the torch. There are still a handful of friends and family that say it and I pay attention, love and appreciate that.

Ten:
Creativity. I am at my absolute best when I am able to be creative. When I have free time (and I'm not cooking or cleaning) I love doing something that requires imagination - graphic design, blogging, making crafts or games for Scarlett, painting, renovating, organizing, etc. It keeps me very happy.

I'd like ...

...to see a sunset in the mid-west. Ya know, like that scene from What's Eating Gilbert Grape where Johnny Depp and Juliette Lewis sit in a field of hay watching the sun go down. Yeah, like that.

...to get up in the morning and put on the clothes that I feel like wearing without finding reasons to toss them aside out of frustration.

...to have a personal chef to prepare a variety of meals for the family - we tend to eat a lot of the same things over and over. Hey, different choices can be expensive.

...to paint my kitchen cabinets white. I just don't feel like doing all the sanding and junk.

...to buy Rogaine for my eyebrows. How come the strays that you constantly pluck keep coming back time and time again yet those super important hairs decided to quit ten years ago?

...to have Jennifer Aniston's hair and body... and wardrobe.

...to visit Colorado - but I fear I'd never want to come back to RI.

...to publish the children's books that I've written.

...to find a way to get my car to make "that noise" when I bring it to the mechanic.

...to have a giant art studio with tons of natural light - one that overlooks the ocean... or a lake. I'd have a whiteboard wall, a chalkboard wall, easels for painting and a Mac for graphic design. And maybe my laptop for blogging. And possibly a station for crafts.

...to have a lovely singing voice.

...to learn to sew. I want to make my own pillows and hem clothing and make weird little dolls.

...to do something special each weekend. Something I can write about on a piece of paper and slip into my "awesome memories of 2013 jar". (No, seriously, I have a jar).

...to stop getting shitty letters in the twelve games of Words With Friends I am currently playing.

...to blog about more interesting things - kinda. (not really).

twenty-five sheri facts you thought you could live without knowing ...

1. My preferred method of yogurt stirring is by butter knife.

2. The first time I was pulled over by police I got out of the car - shit almost got REAL.

3. I refer to Pete Rose a LOT when making fun of random hairstyles.

4. Reading Rainbow is a beloved favorite of mine. Anyone remember the "Miss Nelson is Back" episode? Come on!! That was GOLD.

5. I once lost my mother's original wedding band while on a sailboat. I blame the slip-off on the tanning oil and yes, I've felt guilty ever since. (I'm never letting Scarlett anywhere near my wedding rings).

6. I don't feel comfortable in my own backyard - I always feel like the neighbors are going to peek out and point and laugh at me. And I don't know why I care if they do.

7. I've always had a sort of fascination for the morbid. Growing up I had a lot of horror movies and books about serial killers - along with my stuffed animals of course.

8. As a reformed smoker (11 years!) I really can't bring myself to even buy a pack of cigarettes for someone - and god forbid I inhale second-hand smoke...

9. I would love to work in a library.

10. One of my favorite snacks is nutella slathered on golden oat Bel Vita biscuits.

11. It takes me a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally long time to let things go - especially situations in which I've been treated unfairly.

12. If I could eat one meal for the rest of my life it would be eggplant parmesan with pasta and a delicious salad, italian bread, glasses of red wine and water followed by ice cream.

13. Analog clocks can still trip me up from time to time. I've always been a words girl - I just hate numbers.

14. Once while hiking my friends and I were nearly ten miles lost in 90+ degree weather with our only water supply from streams we came across. We ended up having to hitchhike back to our car.

15. I am not a fan of the circus. Not a fan of clowns, not a fan of chained animals, not a fan of loud noises or bright flashes.

16. I don't really eat red meat... or much pork. I'm more of a poultry kinda girl.

17. I hardly ever answer my home phone or my front door. Peddle your goods elsewhere, gang.

18. I had always wanted and recently got my first iPhone. I'd take my Windows phone back in a heartbeat.

19. I had two imaginary friends when I was very young and they went by the names of Noonie and Bernantha. I haven't yet ruled out writing a children's book about them.

20. I have written several children's books but can't seem to get them published. They reserve those slots for people like Katie Couric and Leann Rimes these days.

21. I have an engraved bracelet that reads, Scarlett June, you're my moon and I won't leave the house without it on my right wrist.

22. My teeth are cavity free.

23. My favorite cocktail is a Grey Goose and tonic with lemon.

24. I really hate: the terms chick flicks and girls night out, the phrase You Go Girl and most bachelorette parties. I'm not your normal gal.

25. I'd love to start a business with my creative friends --- who's putting up the dough??

Things you'll never hear me say...

"Mmmmm... I could go for a tuna sandwich and some cranberry sauce followed by a cup of Jello topped with Cool Whip."

"Wow. Those Syfy movie actresses are incredibly talented."

"I'd like to be a beekeeper."

"I wish Brody would shed this heavily all year long."

"Excuse me sir, that comb-over is exquisite." 

"I enjoy when children chase each other throughout the aisles of the market screaming, I wouldn't prefer that their parent keeps control of them at all." 

"I'd like to spend the weekend taking down wallpaper... and then putting a border in every room."

"I hope my daughter grows up to be just like those nice Teen Moms... or Amanda Bynes." 

"I believe that people should act superior, shallow and braggy - you know, just like the gems they idolize on those reality television shows."

"I'll just leave this mail on the table and boxes and magazines on the counter and toys all over the floor, I don't mind a mess."

"Ooh! let's go sit under that tree."

"I haven't shaved my legs in two days."

"I don't mind driving down city, all those one-ways are delightful."

"What is the name of that movie where Jack Nicholson tries to kill his family in a hotel? Whatever it is it's terrible."

"Let's invite the neighbors over for a cookout."

"Those wedge high-top sneakers are adorable."



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don't piss me off, Art

I step in Brody's slobbery drool with bare feet and stamp it all over the house until I can get to a towel.

They have coupons in the fliers for every other razor on the planet but the two that Gregg and I use.

My Keurig denies me a full cup of coffee.

Airplanes wake me up at 3am. WE HAD A DEAL!!!!!!

Someone puts a hand or paw through a screen door or window.

People buy their kids those high-pitched whistles at events. You know the ones I'm talking about.

I see Kanye West's face anywhere. I just wanna punch that stupid mouth (and ego).

I buy those select-a-size paper towels by mistake. I loathe them.

Young girls wear ass-revealing shorts and you just know that their parents bought them.

I find cigarette butts on the beach. Even in my heaviest smoking days I had the decency to take my trash home with me.

I forget clothes in the dryer for hours on end.

I see dogs sliding around in the back of a pickup truck.

The song Daylight by Maroon 5 is on - anywhere, anytime.

Drive-thru-ers have a laundry list of shit to buy. GO INSIDE. I need a coffee, ya lazy ass. (ummm I just heard you say, Why don't YOU go inside you lazy ass!? I thought we were cool).

I finally go to use sour cream and it expired like two days prior.

You have to play the stupid driver game at a four way stop.

I obsess over wanting to get bangs cut, finally do and then immediately pin them up until they grow out.

Scarlett falls asleep in the car for two minutes thus ruining her nap for the entire day.

People don't return their carts to the designated spaces - unless they have a good reason like they're carrying two babies or their arms just fell off - but normally I'm somewhat positive it's just laziness.