5.5.2011

May 5, 2011 ... a.k.a. Cinco de Mayo ... a.k.a. the day that our lives really started.

My husband and I had been awaiting this day for nearly five months. We were heading to the doctor's office for an ultrasound. Not just your typical ultrasound ... this was THE  ultrasound. We were about to find out the sex of our baby! I was cool and calm on the outside but man, was I bursting with excitement on the inside. Oh, the anticipation!! Such a wonderful feeling.

Our great friends were visiting from Colorado so a bunch of us started the day with a delicious breakfast at a (former) favorite spot. It wasn't until the very end of our meal and conversation that I mentioned our upcoming afternoon appointment. Their faces lit up! Our visiting friends -- having a four month old baby boy -- knew all about the joy that was about to rock our world. Everyone gave their best guesses and demanded immediate texts when we learned if we were blessed with a boy or girl.

Because of our previous loss (in October 2010) we had more ultrasounds than the average pregnancy would entail. Each one, along with excitement, brought a bit of anxiety and at times nausea. I think we were both preparing ourselves for bad news so the blow would be softened if that moment did come. And thank God it didn't. Not this time.

Gregg had worked that morning and finished up early and met me at home. We went to the appointment together, both ready to jump out of our skin. Nineteen weeks had led us to this moment... a long, long awaited moment in time that would change our lives forever. 

We found ourselves in that familiar room. The room where we first had received amazing news. The room where we had also received the most devastating news of our lives. We were ready. The tech rattled off the usual instructions and before we knew it we were viewing our little pea on screen. I think we were both amazed at how much the baby had grown. The tech began to show us the arms, legs, hands, feet, heart, kidneys, bladder, stomach etc. It was wonderful to hear and see that everything was growing and functioning as it should be! That is all that matters, after all. But you can't blame a new parent (or an old pro!) for being super excited to find out whether they're buying blue overalls or pink sundresses!

The time came. The tech asked us if we wanted to find out the sex. "OH YES!!" we anxiously replied. Naturally, the baby had its legs closed tightly together. The tech had to do some prodding. She moved my stomach around as if it were molding clay. I felt disgusting at the thought of my flab being pulled around like Silly Putty. I quickly thrust my self-consciousness out the window and focused on the news... "Well, it looks like you've got a little girl here!" Oh my God is she serious?? She wouldn't joke, would she? Do I get excited?? Is this for real or is she going to say BOY in a second?? My mind was racing and my smile, wide. Gregg grabbed and shook my foot as he knew how badly I wanted a baby girl. "GET OUT! I'll DIE!!" That's what I so eloquently said to the ultrasound technician. She again said she was pretty sure. I asked her for a percentage of accuracy and she felt that she was 85% accurate in her deciphering. I'll take it!! I was over the MOON. Gregg was beaming at the thought of his little baby girl (but I think he was mostly excited that I was getting my wish).

We floated out of that doctor's office. Our first stop? Target. I needed to buy sundresses immediately. And we did just that. Sundresses in pinks and yellows. Little sleepers with hearts on them. Mama's dream come true. I was having a baby GIRL.

My heart still leaps when I think of this day. I'm not a girl who gets everything she wants. I'm not the one you envy for my material possessions or awe-inspiring lifestyle. My life is very simple. It's about love. My love for my husband, my family and now this immense love for someone that I hadn't yet met but loved with all of my heart. My baby girl. My sweet Scarlett June. I got my wish this time. And all the wishes before it could not compare. I am forever grateful.

I'm linking this post up with The Lightning and the Lightning Bug for Dare to Share: 

The Big Day

a mama at last ...

I feel like I am looking at my blog for the first time all over again! I was a bit rusty when it came to revamping but I figured it out - in between my baby's naps that is! 

YES, that is right, "babybloggins" is finally here! She arrived on September 24 at 8:09 PM via C-section - after much coaxing. I ended up having to be induced due to a discrepancy with the ultrasound measurements, basically. I was in labor for roughly 48 hours with barely any progression when we all decided that a C-section would be best. I'm a tough cookie but the recovery was pretty brutal if I'm being honest ... and it was a breeze if I'm lying through my teeth. Luckily, Gregg was home with me for three weeks and during that time we were able to enjoy the start of our new family life together. What a trip it has been! We just love her so much, she's an absolute doll. 

Scarlett June ... my little moon

 
It has been quite a ride so far... and I'm loving every second of it. Sure, I've been peed on, pooped on, spit-up on and even had two lovely projectile bottle-puking experiences - but it's all part of the journey, and it's all wonderful. I have learned so much - by doing. I listen to advice and take most of it into consideration but I mostly prefer the trial-and-error process. It might take me a little longer to get everything down but I get there eventually and I have a great sense of accomplishment when I do. I'm pretty proud of my ability to keep Scarlett on a great schedule. I started very early on. I know, I know, "babies can't be put on a schedule, they change all the time" ... blah blah blah. Heard it all, read it all. She does have her days and nights where she is completely out-of-sorts but for the most part she follows the schedule that we set for her. We used to do bedtime at 9:30 pm, she would be up at 1:00 am and again at 4:00 am for feedings and diaper changes. But for the past two weeks it's been lights-out between 10-11 pm and she sleeps anywhere from 6-9 hours!! What a blessing! Sure, it could all change tomorrow and for the next three months but I'll take it as it comes.

My favorite thing to do with Scarlett is read to her. When she is on her changing table, fed and freshly changed, she loves to play (for about 20-30 minutes, tops - haha). We have several noise-makers that she is into, rattles and little singing plushies - but she loves story time too. I enjoy finding new books for her and watching how the ones that she LOATHES on Tuesday can become her favorite on Wednesday. She recently started making lots of noise herself. Along with the adorable smiles we get to hear her jumbled up baby language. I adore it. Last night she even started imitating sounds that I make to her... it's so stinkin' cute!  

I am really enjoying the holiday season this year. It sure is fun picking out toys and books for the little shmoop. We finally get to play Santa!! The Christmas decorations went up the day after Thanksgiving (as usual) and it is quite festive on the first floor. I had a hard time settling on a stocking for Scarlett but finally found the perfect one. I'm not into "baby's first Christmas" items (or mixing pink with red and green decor for that matter). I wanted something that she can keep throughout the years. So, in the end, a stocking adorned with the Peanuts Christmas characters Snoopy and Woodstock won it's place on the mantle. It fits right in.

Scarlett is 9 weeks old and going to her "2 month checkup" tomorrow. Here come the shots. Oh, how I dread it. Watching her scream in the hospital when they pricked her little foot was just heartbreaking. I hope she recovers quickly... I hope I do too. 


I plan to do my best to get back to blogging on a regular basis. I'd love to update you all with stories of our day-to-day shenanigans, if time allows. 


Be well.

     

yep, I'm pregnant

I did it! I waited 19 whole weeks before spilling the beans! (Hence the lack of blogs.)

Gregg and I are utterly thrilled to announce that we are expecting a baby girl this fall. It's like a dream come true. I think we are both still in shock to be honest. Because of our previous loss (in October 2010) we were very, very nervous throughout the first trimester. Even after my doctor reassured us that the chances of experiencing a loss after hearing the heartbeat at 10 weeks are so, so slim - we still kept our guard up. I only began feeling a little more upbeat after seeing our baby on screen last week and learning that we are having a GIRL. It makes it so real when you are able to use a name -or even a pronoun "she" or "her" - instead of "the baby" or - "IT" (which is just awful). 

So, for all of you who have been taken completely by surprise, here is a recap of the first 19 weeks...

My initial symptoms started early, right around week five. It started with food aversions. I had made a huge batch of broccoli soup- which we LOVED- and a couple of days later I found myself chucking it into the trash can as fast as I could. I just knew if I left it in the fridge a second longer I would die. I couldn't look at it, smell it or even think about it. And to be honest I still can't eat broccoli. Then it was chicken. Brown rice. Coffee. Turkey chili. Spinach. Peppers. My everyday breakfast of egg-whites and English muffins. It seemed as though EVERYTHING that I LOVED to eat on a daily basis was now completely off limits. Awesome. I found myself unable to drink water. Normally I would guzzle down nearly 80 oz per day and now I was struggling to get just 20 oz down. It was so bizarre! 

The nausea followed at week six. I had no appetite whatsoever. You could offer me any food in the world and I couldn't even choose ONE thing that I'd like to eat. I started straying from my typical shopping list and buying things that I hadn't eaten in ten years. Like Chef Boyardee. YUP. I ate canned spaghetti and meatballs. Could you die?? Salt filled canned pasta with skunk meat. I had Ramen noodles - still a favorite but I never buy them due to the sodium. I was drinking gallons of Country Time lemonade. It was all I wanted to drink! I wanted lots of sweets too. My shopping list looked like something a 17 yr old pothead would pen. I begged Gregg to go shopping for me because I was too embarrassed to buy half the stuff on the list. I figured if he got it for me the cashier wouldn't think anything of it because he's tall and lean. If I pull the cart up with that crap in it you know they're judging me. My crazy appetite had quite an effect on our everyday meals. I could never plan to make dinner because by the time I'd make it I couldn't even look at it. Or I would start to eat it and have to throw it away. When I started having to throw food away I decided I wouldn't cook anymore, we would just get take-out or find something easy like PB&J or cereal. I did feel bad for Gregg during this time. It was a bit of a challenge for both of us.

As far as cravings go I didn't have any real crazy episodes. At different times I have wanted: lemonade, Caesar salad, spaghetti, green grapes, pepper-jack cheese, bubble gum, Italian ice, cookies & cream ice cream, an Italian grinder... can't remember any more.  

The fatigue wasn't quite so bad for me as most of my friends had it. I did find it VERY easy to fall asleep at night for once. And I would need a little catnap during the afternoon. A 15 minute snooze was all it took to get me back in action. Being unemployed sucks financially but is fantastic for napping whenever you see fit.

My headaches started around week eight. At first I noticed very sharp headaches that lasted about six hours a couple times per week. Then it progressed to three or four headaches that lasted over 11 hours and were so blinding I had to shut the curtains and at times wear sunglasses in the house. My doctor told me to take Tylenol and have caffeine. I did take Tylenol but I never did try the caffeine. Lucky for me the headaches seemed to stop as of week 18.

The past few weeks have seemed like a dream! The nausea and lack of appetite seemed to come to a halt around 14 weeks. At that time I also found that I didn't need that little nap anymore. (Well, sometimes I still do). I think the only thing going on at this point is that my feet hurt! I guess they widened and I may have fallen arches or something but anyway it is hardly anything to complain about! I am feeling good everyday, my appetite is back - I am even eating STEAK now!! (I have not eaten steak since I was a wee tot, I LOATHED it). We are able to prepare healthy meals once again and I am enjoying the fresh fruits and veggies already!

I'll just leave you with the story of the most exciting day of our life (to date) ... 
Last Thursday, Cinco de Mayo actually, we had my anatomy ultrasound. The purpose is really to measure all of the organs and make sure that everything is developing properly... but everyone knows it's when you find out the sex of the baby. We couldn't WAIT for this day. As soon as we saw the little peanut on screen it was just miraculous. She was moving all over the place (and I still haven't felt any of that!) it was amazing. When we first saw her she had one hand up by her forehead and one knee bent - she looked like me when I'm basking in the sun hahaha. The ultrasound tech said, "Look how dramatic she is already!" It was so friggin cute! So after all of the measurements were taken it was time for the big reveal!! But her legs were too close together! So the US tech was moving my stomach all over the place and we'd watch the baby move too. So cute. Finally I heard, "Well it looks like you have a little girl here" and I could NOT believe it. I had wanted a girl so badly I was just waiting for the word "boy" to come out of her mouth. I said, "GET OUT! I'll DIE!" And she again said that it was a girl. I asked how sure she was and she gave us 85%. (My doctor said she never goes over 90% so it's a pretty good number haha). Gregg and I left that appointment just grinning from ear to ear. We immediately went to buy sundresses.

 That's our baby girl :o)

(we are keeping her name a secret)

We spent the next day registering for our shower. SO OVERWHELMING. We spent four hours in there and I had to do the rest online because I thought my legs were going to give out. We bought a few more outfits too. Hee hee. And today I went on a little spree at Carter's with my mom. My sister-in-law gave us a big bag of adorable clothes that she bought on Friday. My mom gave us another big bag of clothes that she bought also on Friday. These gals were waiting SO long to go shopping! Everyone is just thrilled for us and thrilled that we're having a girl because there are so many boys in the family already. This is my mom's first grandchild so she is just over the moon with excitement. It's been really fun and I just have to let you all know how grateful and thankful I truly am for this experience. I will keep you updated on everything from here on out I promise! Sorry for keeping you in the dark for so long but wasn't it a FANTASTIC secret???