time to lock it up ...

Just wanted to share some holiday photos from Christmas 2009 before we leap into 2010 in just a matter of hours.

On Christmas Eve we hosted about 25 people - just for snacks and drinks - here are a few shots... (I don't want to add pictures of the guests just in case they aren't in love with that idea). I made peanut butter cookies, Nutter Butter snowmen, sugar cookies, chocolate-covered pound-cake bites, cupcakes and zucchini bread. Lotsa goodies ...

 

 

On Christmas Day we split time between my parents home and Gregg's sister's home. I look forward to that Christmas meal every year. It is normally LASAGNA but this year my mom opted for stuffed shells instead. Just as yummy. And we always have meatballs, Eggplant Parmesan (my favorite) and antipasto. Mmm mmm mmm. The leftovers are just as good. At my sister-in-law's house they have turkey, ham, potatoes, rice, noodles, veggies etc. TONS of options. There are always too many desserts to choose from as well. YUM.

Gregg and I had a wonderful Christmas. One of our favorite parts is Christmas morning when we sit in the living room and open our gifts from each other. Since it only happens once a year it really makes those rare moments that much more special. We appreciate every second of it and love to see the looks on each others faces when we open our "little surprises". Gregg is very thoughtful and always manages to find something that I adore. We don't spend a lot of money anymore since we have our important priorities - but we don't notice the difference. I just enjoy that time that we spend together.

Hope you all had a lovely holiday and since it is New Year's Eve - Happy New Year, everyone! I wish you all health, wealth and happiness in 2010! Cheers!! 

ho ho ho-ly mackerel...

Twas three days before Christmas
And much to my cheer
I am ready to welcome it
I've waited all year

The house is quite festive
Red and green off the hook
And Santas and snowmen
Adorn every nook

For each ornament, a place
On the big Christmas tree
Which has now been de-skirted
For my sanity

As cute as it was
In the trash it will sit
When it's covered in bug pods
I don't give a shit


The presents are wrapped
Some disguised as a test
PS3 games and movies
Are too easily guessed

The cards hang on ribbons
On the back of the door
And I've baked up some cookies
Just a few dozen more

Outside on the bushes
Gregg strung up the lights
While I watched from the window
On the coldest of nights

The snow has been shoveled
Right down to the brick
So our Christmas Eve guests
Won't break bones if it's slick

I bought some supplies
at Ye Olde Liquor Store
I had some White Russians
Now I have to buy more

We are ready to host
About twenty-five guests
With seating for twelve
Should be awkward, at best

I hope that you all 
Are enjoying your season
For all of the rushing
Is for quite a good reason

So hold onto your family
and keep your friends dear
Merry Christmas to all
and a Happy New Year


















  

blizz o'nine ...

This past weekend the forecast called for a blizzard and to our surprise - the forecast was right. I have always enjoyed the snow- when I don't have to drive in it, that is. Shoveling isn't my favorite thing to do but, to me, the good outweighs the bad in any snowstorm... especially when it falls on a weekend and people can stay off the roads and at home to enjoy it.

It started around 8:45 on Saturday night. Gregg and I were watching A Christmas Story with our tree lit and our heat crankin'... all cozied up.

Within an hour the winds had started picking up and the "white-out conditions" began...

During the night it obviously continued pretty heavily and Brody could not WAIT to get outside to enjoy it. He actually woke us up at 6:30 so he could start running around - just like a little kid. He barely managed to sit still while we put his collar on and opened the slider to the deck ...

Shoveling was no easy feat. We had to lift the snow in three sections due to its height. I believe we got 15" in our area. I had a lot of trouble trying to brush the snow off of Gregg's Jeep just because it was piled so high. We each had our own section of the circular driveway to take care of ... and the city plows did nothing to lighten the load. Don't ya just love that giant packed pile at the ends of your driveway?? That took a while to chip away at.

When the shoveling was finally finished, we got into our super warm clothes, lit a fire and had hot chocolate. That is one cliché that I don't mind at all.  

sheri vs wild...

Well, I guess I had it comin'. Shoving my happy, festive, holiday spirit in the face of the world for months now. I knew it wouldn't be long before someone had to shit right on my smiley parade. Or on my Christmas tree skirt... whichever.

So, I was about to do the dishes (crap, I still haven't done them) when I saw my makeshift tree-watering device, a.k.a. a Poland Spring bottle, sitting there as a nagging reminder. I filled it up and went to do one of my least favorite chores. I crawled under the veil of falling needles- that are so sharp they actually draw blood sometimes- and fulfilled my duty as Blackthumb, The Thirst Quencher.

Now, those of you who know me can attest to my fear of many, many living creatures. We have discussed spiders, centipedes and moths just to name a few. But the fear goes way deeper. I find dead lady bugs in the  upstairs bedrooms and I want to board the place up and move. I also LOATHE anything in large quantities. Swarms make me want to cut my eyeballs out. Big groups of insects, dead or alive, horrify me. It may sound childish and irrational but it's sort of out of my hands at this point.

Anyway, there I was, on my hands and knees pouring the last drop into the tree stand, when I saw them. When I tell you I gasped and my eyes became as wide as saucers I am NOT exaggerating. Not a stitch. Hundreds of 'black dots' peppering the white edges of the tree skirt and lining the floor at the baseboard. I was petrified. I did triple and quadruple takes. Panic was leaking into my system. My first hurried thought was 'mice droppings'. We have a controlled mice issue in our house but I had never seen any crime scene like THIS before. Taking a closer look, and holding my breath the entire time, I tossed out my initial guess. 'Holy shit, it's spider pods'. Remembering the day we brought the tree home when I saw a spider crawling on the wall, and another on the ceiling, and four total that day - I was now convinced. Millions of thoughts began to speed through my mind ... What the FFFFFF??? So basically our tree is infested with spiderlings?? I will DIE right this second. Oh my God I have to get this tree outside. Wait! I have to UNdecorate it first. All of our little, adorable ornaments TAINTED with crawled upon horror. And when I drag it outside all of the PODS will fall on me and all over the floor. I cannot touch this tree!! I will SPRAY it!! I will spray the tree with bug killer!! Wait, then everything will just fall to the ground and I will die all over again. WHAT will I DO?? ... That was just the first few moments upon realizing the nature of the situation.

I immediately dialed Gregg's cell phone number. In every "crisis" I call him instinctively, knowing full well that there is no way he can just leave work to sweep up a bug situation for me. I left the voice mail anyway. It's always worth a shot, right?? I then collected myself, somewhat, and made a dash for the trashcan, a broom, paper towels, bug killer and a dustpan. Just carrying these items together made me want to vomit.

I set up shop a few feet from the tree and planned my attack. First mission: Operation Tree Skirt Disposal. It took all of the courage I have inside me to gently un-Velcro those four openings. WHY is this Velcro so effing secure?? Is this super strength heavy duty Velcro made specifically for tightly fastening a frigging tree skirt?? With each slight pull I could see the 'dots' bouncing on the fabric. Vomit. Death. Fury. Panic. I finally managed to undo the damn thing and I gathered it up and marched it right outside into the big, black trash container of death. Dusting off my hands, I walked back into that living room more like a soldier than a shrieking housewife. I had my game face on. I doused those paper towels with tree water, mopped up some pods and threw the sopping mess in the trashcan. I swept up the remaining pellets of terror into a dustpan and disposed of them quickly. I even swept my broom and brush with each other to make sure that there were no lingering 'dots' to be hatched. Oh my God the word "hatched" is unacceptable. Feeling pretty intrepid about my cleanup I gave the area a quick once over to make sure all was secure. Ummm WHAT is that?? My eyes focused on a frightening sight. A god damned web. Right next to the 'back of the tree gold ball' was a creepy web o' disgust. What now?? I really don't have much experience in web-demolition. I am the girl who will ask an obvious serial killer to do things like that rather than ever attempt it myself. I began fumbling around for an item that was both long and something that I wouldn't mind tossing into a tar pit afterward. Unfortunately, not many items fit the bill. Tinfoil!!! I twisted up a tinfoil web-destroyer double quick! Back at the tree, hands shaking, I swirled that foil sword around and around, up and down the tree, taking down more than one web!! I hadn't even seen the others until now. And then, rounding a corner, a raisin-sized scumbag spider jerk was making his way out front to see what all the commotion was about. My heart stopped. Faced with the evil demon himself, I knew I had to keep my brave boots on and fight this mutha until his scary, little breaths were silenced. Well, I lost him in the tree. Apparently it's not that easy to balance on unstable tinfoil. It was at this moment that I decided to spray the  tree, the wall, window and floor with good old fashioned Hot Shots Bug Killer.

This ordeal lasted for close to an hour. Once I tossed the disgusting waste, I reached for the phone number to Arrest-A-Pest. That's right. You know I have them on speed dial. I realize that I brought a TREE into my living room. I get it. I'm not an idiot. But I have every right to consider them intruders anyway. They are unwelcome guests at best. My service man will be here tomorrow with his trusty spray (I should have asked for a tank of that for Christmas) and hopefully everything will be salvageable. If not, guess who's getting a new tree this weekend?

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go light myself on fire.

stop the press!!!

I truly have nothing exciting to report ... as usual, but thought I would note what I have been busy with.

I have spent most of my time over the past few weeks doing my Christmas shopping. Got a whole lot done and now its just a few teeny things standing in the way of my being completely finished. I wrap everything the day I buy it or the day that it is delivered to my house, that way there is no huge four hour wrap session.

I have also spent a good chunk of the weekends decorating for Christmas. It's a bit like the North Pole in here. I love Christmas decorations. I think our tree is perfect again this year - we really enjoyed continuing our tradition of putting it up on our anniversary. Hmm I should upload some pics as a matter of fact ...

This is Fred!! 

Fred is the first ornament on the tree each year.

He is my favorite and has been in the family since before my parents were married.

I hang him in our bedroom all year long until his big holiday debut!! Haha. 

Also, I sometimes apologize to him for the hook that I stuck in his head.

  

 

 

And that's that. It's pretty festive in here these days. Some nights I light about 15 tealight candles, each glowing red or green or burning a chocolate peppermint scented wax tart. Mmmm ... North Poley.

Recently, we decided to have our 2nd annual Christmas Eve party. Last year we invited both of our families over for snacks and drinks and it went very well. It is the only time during the year where our families are together and we all had a nice ol' holiday time. I am now trying to figure out what cookies to bake and what cake or pie to serve and just how I shall decorate my cupcakes. Fun stuff, but I seem to obsess over it nonetheless. More importantly I am concerned with the chair situation. Twenty five people invited and I think we have seating for ten or twelve. HA! Oh well. Maybe I should tell them there's a dancing contest! Sitters lose.

I have been watching or DVRing every holiday special on television. From Rudolph to the Grinch, Charlie Brown to "the little mice with the clock one" hahaha. I thrive on tradition when it comes to the holidays and these shows make me more nostalgic than anything else. I can picture watching them with my mom from when I was a little girl until the year that I moved out of her house. She still watches them too. :o)

My sister-in-law had a Christmas party last weekend for my nephews and the family/extended family. Santa and Mrs. Claus were to show up at 7 p.m. All of the kiddies were running around with their big, bright smiles. Excitement. It was pretty adorable to say the least. Watching the kids climb up on Santa's lap, telling him just what they would like this year. Each received their own little gift bag (courtesy of my mother-in-law who organized the meeting with her friends - the Clauses). There were so many cookies and snacks, not to mention a slammin punch that was made for the kids but ended up in glasses of blackberry vodka instead. Hence my sister-in-law's hangover the following day. But MAN was that a good drink.

What else what else?? We celebrated my grandmother's 88th birthday on December 9th. She is in wonderful health and other than some yucky arthritis she's going quite strong. We got together for her favorite chocolate cake and some laughs.

 

And I guess that about does it. I am really looking forward to Christmas with Gregg and our families and just trying to finish up all of the running around and "prep work".

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday this year. Soon, it will be in the past so let's all take the time to enjoy it. Happy Holidays! Eat, drink and be merry and safe!!

all shined up ...

I would like to share my thoughts with you all on what is most important to me.

First, a little history ...

I started babysitting at age 11. I watched my at-the-time neighbor's two daughters three days a week until I was a Sophomore in high school. I had two other babysitting jobs besides that. I starting working part time at Rocky Point as a hostess in the Shore Dinner Hall when I was 14. From age 16 - 18 I worked 25 - 30 hours a week at Almacs as a cashier. I would get home from school, do my homework and head out for a 5 or 6 hour shift. After high school I worked full time for 14 years. I never took any time off in between jobs. I was out of work for two and a half months after having major surgery. I had a two week break for our wedding and honeymoon. And I had 5 weeks off after having a cyst removed from my dominant hand. I have never called out of work without a legitimate illness.

I was raised to be responsible. When I wanted a car I saved the money for the down payment, paid for my insurance and financed the piece of shit for 3 years. When the car needed repairs it sat in my parents driveway until I saved up the money to get it fixed. This isn't to say that my parents NEVER helped me out. Of course they lent their hands along the way as all parents do. They just had sharp instincts and knew when to let me struggle and when to step in.

I am a very hard worker. I started with one company as a proofreader in their composing site and four years and three location changes later became the office manager of the sales department. Not that this is a magical title or anything but it was a lot of work under crazy deadlines with a lot of responsibility. Not to mention an hour commute. That's 44 miles each way. So after two years of that heinous commute, about a million oil changes and an absolutely disgruntled demeanor I decided I needed to make a move. I found a job that was 15 minutes from my home, nailed the interviews and started two weeks later.

At this point it is no secret that I am unemployed. To recap, I lost that job in January. I was completely blindsided. Up until that point I was led to believe that I had a "very bright future" with the company. I was immediately pissed off, bitter, upset, hurt, sick to my stomach and just felt like my pride had been shattered. I was scared to death that I would end up losing my house and not be able to pay my bills. I felt defeated and knew that I was going to have to start all over again after all of my hard work. The problem with that was the pay scale. I am not in any position to take what most employers are offering for starting pay. I have a lot of bills and a high mortgage payment. There is a minimum that I need to make and I can't seem to find it anywhere. By collecting unemployment I am still making over $200 less per month than when I was working. Making that adjustment alone has been no easy task. But as the months passed it became clear to me that I am not in a horrible situation at all. Sure, it is hard to manage our money and we struggle as any other does. And finding a job that fits is an enormous task with no guarantee. But I am HOME. And I am enjoying my home and taking time for myself that I didn't realize I needed until this happened. I was, at first, too busy freaking out about our financial situation to take that step back and see that this break is OKAY and we will be just fine.

The point I am trying to make with this tale is that I am finally enjoying my life. After losing that job I realized it wasn't a horrible turn of events ... it was actually a great blessing. I got back in touch with who I really am when you strip away the daily grind and the added stress that comes with any job. I have the freedom to sit in my pajamas and look out the window when the sun is first peeking through the blinds rather than cursing it while sitting in rush hour traffic. I have the luxury of sipping my coffee each morning rather than gulping it down while curling my eyelashes and straightening my hair. I have the liberty of taking my dog for a brisk morning walk rather than sitting in an office chair for 8 hours with excruciating back pain. I get to enjoy grocery shopping while the store is nearly empty rather than fighting a crowd of 14 people for that little, paper ticket at the deli. I can leisurely write out my Christmas cards with happy greetings that actually stem from a happy mood rather than forcing pleasant adjectives through a scowling pen. In fact, this entire Christmas season has been such a tremendous delight I almost feel as though I am 7 yrs old again, sitting in art class just bursting with excitement over creating my construction paper Santa! It feels damn good to be me right now. I have never felt this wonderful. I have never been this happy. I have been happy of course but not THIS happy. It is truly amazing to see how a job can slowly tarnish your spirit. I feel as though I have been shined back up this year. I am SO thankful for this experience. And whether people judge me or not I don't feel guilt about it, I don't feel as though I am undeserving. I wish for everyone to have the opportunity to peel away the grimy layers of stress and remember how it feels to be satisfied and joyful once again.

Moments like these don't last very long so I am cherishing every single second. One day soon I will be back to the old grind. I will be rushing around each morning having no time to enjoy the simple pleasures. I will spend my days answering to peoples calls and meeting others demands. This freedom and gracious spirit that I have dusted off will once again become somewhat stifled in the process. I dread it but I am not naive to it. I know its coming. Which is why I am so thankful for every second I can spend fully happy.

I love my life. I love my husband. I love our home. I love that we, together, love each other and our home. I love who I have become. No matter what happens down the line I am going to try my hardest to not lose myself ever again. No job is worth it. Life is love. The love you give and the love you receive. It doesn't matter who treats you like crap at work, if you make a mistake or if you sit in hours of traffic. I will do my best to remind myself of this every single day when I feel my spirit is crushed. I know I will be coming home to my real life ... and that is what matters most.

vuth vuth vuth ...

Long overdue.

Since my sister-in-law's husband has been hazing me about my meek and weak blog - I thought it only appropriate to honor him with a tribute to his ball bustin' ass. So, Mr. Vuth Phok... this one's for you, small guy.

Your family means the world to you
You will always put them first.
When it comes to cooking, you're the best
but dressing, you're the worst.
Patriots shirts, Red Sox hats
and slippers everyday
Just because you're married to Stacey
doesn't mean you aren't gay.

I appreciate your generous spirit
and your positive outlook
but we don't always wanna hear it
when you describe the shit you took.

You fill a room with laughter,
then clear it with a fart
It's a sale you're always after
A true cheapskate at heart.

I am blessed to have you in my life
minus the widespread gas,
I give tons of credit to your wife
for dealing with your thrifty ass.
You're a wonderful father to your boys
which I definitely admire.
Even though you won't buy them any toys
that aren't in the Job Lot flier.

All in all, I love you
I wouldn't trade you in for gold
You make fun of me for lots of things
but you're the one that's OLD.
One more thing before I go,
to my dearest Guitar Hero,
I tried to think of a true insult
yet I came up with zero.

Happy blog-reading ya jerk!
xo

"how 'bout this one?"

Ahhhh the Christmas Tree Farm.

Every year, usually on opening day, Gregg and I trek out to Leyden's Tree Farm to tag our one-of-a-kind Christmas Tree. They opened this past Saturday and we continued our tradition. I sort of cornball it up by shuffling a playlist on my ipod of holiday favorites while we take the twenty minute ride. When we come to the driveway I always laugh at the sign because it says "Big John's" and for some reason I find that hilarious. We pull into the lot and find our parking space. This time Gregg accidentally hit my elbow with the door of the Jeep so that made for a memorable entrance as I flailed around laughing at the top of my lungs. Like I have mentioned before, graceful and elegant, I am not. We walked past the Tim Horton's trailer and I, of course, remarked "mmmm coffeeeee" while Gregg said "I want a coolata" ... random. We made our way to the little hut o' farm employees for our tag. The line was super short to my amazement. We received our tag in exchange for a coupon and some loot and with tag and ribbon in hand we set off to hunt down our pine.

 The weather could not have been more perfect. It was just chilly enough for me to state that I should have worn a warmer shirt and gloves but warm enough for me to enjoy a light vest. Gregg asked if I was going to take my sunglasses off and I was curious about that. We were outside. It was bright out. I could see the trees just fine. Does he hate my sunglasses? What gives? It's not like we are in the grocery store and I have them on while carrying my dumb, tiny dog in a $5400 bag. Hmm. (Okay, I will admit that I occasionally keep them on when shopping simply because it is comfortable and I feel like I am undercover). Anyway, we walked through various fields of trees joining the other hunters in saying "how 'bout this one?" twenty times over. I wondered if trees could think would they be pissed about the repetition. I know I would. We found a bunch of great looking possibilities but they were either too short, too tall, too bare, too full, too skinny, too fat or just friggin' dead. Some even had spiders in them. Instant no-no.

Finally though, we did find our 2009 champion. Persistence pays off. Gotta keep a sharp eye out and really visit each row, sometimes twice. Gregg tied the tag onto our extremely sharp-needled, painful tree and we headed back to the hut to record our field and row number.

 

 

I contemplated entering the coloring contest but ultimately decided against it. Satisfied with our selection, we drove away smiling. Actually, I think we were laughing at a conversation we overheard in the parking lot... but either way - it was a great experience as always.

there's a first time for everything ...

I would just like to quickly recap a few recent happenings that haven't happened before (to me, anyway).

1. Saturday afternoon Gregg and I took a ride to HomeGoods and in the parking lot we heard an interesting conversation. "Did you just fart?" was the real attention grabber here. Said, quite loudly, by a middle-aged mother strapping her child into the back seat of a mini-van. Gregg and I continued our walk to the door trying not to break our conversation until we were far enough away that we could laugh our asses off. Because yes, we are mentally still 8 years old a lot of times.

2. I was lucky enough to dine out with Gregg, enjoying calamari, filet mignon, crab cakes and dessert, all for the low price of $9.00. Clearly we had a gift card and only had to add money in for the tip BUT still... when did you ever have a delicious meal of that caliber for nine bucks?

3. We turned the living room into a bedroom and watched Christmas movies. This, I think is my favorite. I asked Gregg if we could blow up the air mattress and put it in the middle of the living room and he said SURE. Who's gonna turn down the option to lay in comfy makeshift bed while watching the "big TV" ?? We put sheets and a big, down comforter on it, threw our bulky pillows up top and climbed in like little kids. Brody, of course, got into the action - eating his bone on my shin. All in all, though, it was fun.

4. I took Gregg's Jeep in for an oil change yesterday. As usual there were a couple of people in the waiting area along with the dirty community toys (vomit), water cooler, m&m dispenser and roughly forty newspapers and magazines to thumb through. Obviously I brought my own magazine and sat with the rest. The typical "funny videos" show was on the TV and I didn't realize how good I had it until the Wendy Williams talk show came on. Holy mackerel ... just google it or watch it one day. I was livid. Just as I was about to hurl myself through the tire-covered, plate glass window, an older man walked in with his PUPPY!!! He sat down next to me and we had a lovely conversation about our dogs while I continued to pet the good girl until my name was called.

And there you have my random first occurrences ...

wicked ..

I will say this - I LOVE Christmas shopping. I will now say THIS - I hate paying for it. While I am not the thief you think I am I do have those secret dirty hopes that one day that ATM will be waving a shit load of "left by mistake cash" at me while I pull up innocently to withdraw a measly twenty.

Today marks the official start of my Christmas shopping season. I am highly organized and think of it almost as a sport. I first make a master list of names of people that will be receiving gifts from Gregger and me. I don't bother to put dollar amounts next to these names as I know I won't stick to that budget for more than ten seconds and I totally hate cross-outs on my paper. I get my own ideas together and then beg my giftees for their actual desires. I compile those lists and hit the internet for YEP, you guessed it, coupons. Hey, as far as I know, being thrifty never hurt a soul.

Last night I searched online for in store coupons. I found insane deals and was thrilled with my hour of sleuthing. This morning I hit it up once more and found even better ones, printed everything and went on with my life. After an afternoon of errands, I sat down with my lists and went from website to website using every working promo code I could find! For one store, I found a coupon for 25% off of one item - and what do ya know? I needed exactly one item there. I checked around and found free shipping as well. Total savings? $9.00. Now, if I didn't know any better I could have easily just gone to the website, or the store for that matter, and bought the item for it's full price. This is why I have learned to scope out the deals before ever making a purchase. Just a few minutes ago I saved $33.00 by finding a 30% off promo code and free shipping once again. It's almost fool proof. You have nothing to lose. Sometimes the codes work, sometimes they don't. Just google and google and google until your fingers bleed. Then find and print the coupon for Curad band aids, buy the band aids, put them on said bleeding fingers and google once more!!

Happy Holiday Shopping, my thrifty little friends...

confessions ...

... Sometimes ... 

... When the timer is about to go off on the oven I add minutes to it to prolong dealing with the food inside.

... I try to sneak a shower in while Brody is outside playing but he almost always senses this and just starts barking incessantly until my raced-through cleanse has ended and I am standing at the slider rolling out the red carpet for him.

... I throw the mopines (that's right) and dishrags in the washer with the white clothes to avoid doing another load of laundry. Hot water and bleach of course.

... I don't leave the house for days and I really don't mind it.

... I feel like I could eat a block of Cracker Barrel Baby Swiss cheese but luckily I have enough willpower to stop myself after the third, thin slice.

... I will sit and color in my numerous coloring books for hours, happy as a clam.

... All it takes is the rearranging of cupboards or the organization of a closet to make me smile.

... When I daydream about winning the lottery I think about how we could remodel and decorate the rooms in our existing home and I get excited about flooring and appliances and then realize that we could do WAY better than this dump!! (* I do not think our home is a dump, Gregg - but it isn't the Victorian mansion of my dreams either).

... I am ... 

... A big time movie repeater. I will watch a favorite movie over and over again because it is comforting. 

... A newcomer to the world of Coffeemate and am slightly obsessed with the Gingerbread flavor.

... Very sarcastic, and it baffles me that some people don't understand or have their own sense of humor.

... Dependent on "me time". I definitely require my space and am lucky to have plenty of it.

... I have ... 

... The greatest husband. I couldn't imagine a better one, and I'm a pretty creative cat.

... A heart of sterling silver.

... Lingering, yet fading, self confidence issues.

... Dry eyes and a HUGE issue with light. I often close the curtains during the day because I feel like I am staring directly into the sun. I wear sunglasses pretty much no matter what the weather conditions are. I become blinded by headlights at night and need tinted glasses for driving but don't want to look like Penny Marshall so I choose vanity over being able to see the curb.

... A very diverse music collection to say the least.

... Many great recipes that I cook but often still opt for an eggplant grinder when given the choice.

... Dreams and goals that I keep to myself so that I won't feel outside pressure to accomplish them.

... Constant pain in my right hand from surgery. I had a cyst removed from the middle finger knuckle in the center of my hand two years ago and the pain is still just as shitty.

... My Favorite ...

... Shampoo is Derm Organic Sulfate-Free Conditioning Shampoo with Argan Oil

... Author is Stephen King

... Brand of Crushed Tomatoes is Cento

... Scent is blueberry

... Animal is the Polar Bear

... Fish is the Shark

... Cocktail is a Grey Goose and Tonic with lemon

... Stores are: Marshalls, HomeGoods and Kohl's.

... Actor is Jack Nicholson

... Season is Autumn

... SUV is the Lincoln Navigator

... Movie is The Shining

... Toothpaste is Crest Whitening with Scope

... and in honor of The Christmas Season ...

Favorite Day of the Year ... Christmas Eve

Favorite Christmas Movies ... National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story, Elf, A Christmas Carol (1984 w/George C. Scott)  

Favorite Christmas Songs ... Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, I'll Be Home For Christmas, Oh Holy Night, When My Heart Finds Christmas 

Favorite Christmas Specials ... How The Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Garfield Christmas, Yogi's First Christmas

Favorite Christmas Tradition ... Tagging and Decorating the Christmas Tree

Favorite Christmas Dinner ... Lasagna, Meatballs, Eggplant Parmesan and Antipasto

be merry ...

Let's discuss Christmas, shall we?

A lot of times when I start to get anxious for the pre-holiday fun, people say "don't rush it!" or "it's too early!" I can understand the overwhelming feeling of I am so not ready for this when you first see decorations and Christmas cards being put up in the stores. It does seem to be earlier and earlier each year. You are barely finished taking down the Halloween garb and eating the last of the popcorn balls and there are sleighs and stockings in your face. Untimely, perhaps. And I realize that initial panic is triggered when thinking about Christmas shopping and fighting off crowds to buy hundreds of gifts before the big deadline. But I get stoked about the season itself. And all of the 'fun' and tradition that goes along with it.

Immediately after Halloween I shift my focus from orange and black to red and green. The ghosts, bats, witches and pumpkins are all stashed away until the following September (yes, September. I can only wait so long to see those adorable hoots). I don't transition into Thanksgiving fare at all, as I dislike Thanksgiving and sort of skip over it in my mind. So, basically, November 1st marks the start of the Christmas season for me. I start thinking about how I will dress up the mantle this year. I receive the coupon from the Christmas tree farm and mark on the calendar exactly which day we should go to tag our 'perfect-for-us' tree. I make a playlist for my ipod featuring all of MY favorite holiday songs so that I am not forced to listen to the overplayed radio favorites. Gregg and I designate certain days to watch our favorite holiday movies, like Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story. Those are the old standbys. Now, we are lucky to have Elf to throw into the mix. Don'tcha just love that  movie? And then there are the specials and cartoons! I get so excited when that Boris Karloff narrated classic How The Grinch Stole Christmas is on for the first time. Granted, they show it about eleven hundred times during the season and I probably watch it eight of the eleven. We own Rudolph, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town and Frosty the Snowman. I also have the Peanuts holiday collection - It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and A Charlie Brown Christmas - who could forget those?? And, because I really am a kid at heart, I bought the Garfield holiday collection - Garfield's Halloween Adventure, Garfield's Thanksgiving and A Garfield Christmas - all appropriately titled haha. Every year I search the TV guide for Yogi's first Christmas. I can't let the season go by without seeing that one either.

We started a new tradition last year on the Saturday of Thanksgiving weekend. We rode down to Mystic, CT, to the Old Mystick Village, to do some Christmas shopping. We didn't spend a dime but it was so nice to be there during the holidays. Everything was decorated with white lights, green garland and red bows. There was an 'old timey' brass band playing Christmas carols. It was as though we were in a Norman Rockwell painting. I couldn't have asked for a more festive feeling. We are really looking forward to going again this year.  

Another favorite 'new' tradition is getting and decorating our tree for our anniversary. Our five year anniversary is coming up on December 4th and we're hoping the weather is nice on Saturday, the 5th, so we can continue to do so. We usually make the trek to Leyden's tree farm with our favorite Christmas music on, we cut the tree down, throw it up on the Jeep, shuttle it home where it prepares for it's annual 'clipping on the deck'. Gregg gives it a thorough 'haircut' while I move the furniture in the living room to make room for our spiffy yet temporary addition. We spend hours stringing the lights and shoving them as far inside the tree as possible for maximum glow. We act like little kids, still telling the same stories about our favorite ornaments that we inherited from our parents' collections. And each year I still feel the element of surprise when I pluck some forgotten favorites out of the overflowing box. These are the moments that I look forward to all year long.

It's not the traffic or the money or the crowds. It's not how many people you are having over for dinner and what on earth will you make. It's not the daunting task of writing out Christmas cards. It's not about hearing I saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus four hundred times. For me, it's about time-honored traditions, heartwarming memories and the feeling of being a kid over and over again. Christmas is my favorite time of the year and it will only become more special as time passes and more memories are made.

from the neck up ...

Alright, so I am not a super hero. I thought for a split second that I was, earlier this week. I was clearly incorrect.

Picture it, Saturday morning, 5 a.m. I wake up to the angriest sore throat known to man (and woman). Very untypical. I went back to sleep despite the hellfire and woke up to an even nastier throat. As the day progressed so did my symptoms. Mainly a sinus headache and that romantic post-nasal-drip. I didn't feel fantastic but I didn't really feel bad either. I was getting ready for an awkward dinner that we had planned at the Nordic Lodge. Gregg's team had won a contest at work and they had enough extra loot to take wives, girlfriends and such. I am not a buffet fan, by nature, and I am even LESS of a fan of sitting around a dinner table. I know it sounds weird, right? I have always been uncomfortable sitting around a big table for dinner. This is partly why I dislike Thanksgiving. (That and the fact that there is no lasagna). Anyway we made the trek to Charlestown and sat with a couple of our friends. Dinner was nothing spectacular from my point of view. I was very grateful to have a free meal of that caliber but I obviously didn't go ape-shit like most of the other guests. We toyed with the idea of going out afterward but Gregg wasn't up for it, and I'm glad now because on that ride home I started to feel much, much worse. We stopped at the store and bought some ice cream and 'feel better snacks' and made our way home to enjoy them.

Sunday morning I woke up to a violent sinus infection. "I KNEW IT!!" I proclaimed. These things always have a way of sneaking into your system and then whilst you are getting your Z's, they cram their friends and family into your nasal passages and just wait for you to arise so they can toss their germ confetti and raise their "YOU'RE SCREWED" signs vindictively. Stupid jerks. I ended up feeling really shitty on Sunday. Didn't do much of anything, just the normal cleaning and laundry. I was anticipating a week of absolute horror. I never seem to get rid of any germ without it running at least a one or two week course. So you can imagine my surprise when I felt like a million bucks on Monday morning!! I thought hmmmmm, a little bit of Sudafed goes a long way!! I thought for sure that I had kicked Germy MacIntyre's ass all quick-like. I boldly stopped taking the meds and was a bit cocky about the whole situation. Well apparently Mr. MacIntyre was enraged at my smugness and he wrangled up his extended family and everyone on his block to put me back in my place. Since Tuesday I haven't slept without waking up four or five times a night to re-medicate. My glands have gotten into the action, trying to help my weak ass immune system fight the MacIntyres and Friends. It's a lot like Gangs of New York in there. Minus the prostitutes.

I hate to complain about being sick because it is just so annoying. That is why I am putting it into a lovely blog. Read it or don't. The choice is yours.

As of today my head seems a bit clearer, thankfully, because I only have one little dosage of Sudafed left. My glands are still causing extreme discomfort. That is what I think bothers me most. I can deal with headaches, congestion, runny nose, sore throat etc. . . but when it comes to the swollen glands just putting all of that pressure on my ear canal and my throat, it's inescapable pain. And I can't think of anything else besides how much it hurts. So, call me a baby if you will. I don't mind. Babies are cute. I have been swallowing Motrin every 3.5 hours (don't lecture me - there is no alternative) to keep the pain at bay. I keep sending poor Gregg a daily text saying "I am not going to do the errands today.... again" so we are sort of running out of things but it's okay. We'll manage. I just feel like bundling up and resting in my home rather than collecting the Walmart germ clan to party with the MacIntyres.

After talking with my mom the other night, I decided on getting a humidifier. She mentioned that it could be the reason for all of my monthly illnesses. Thinking back, I have been steadily sick since moving into our old apartment, years ago, that was gas-heated. I grew up with oil heat. Making the switch made me SO sick during those two years. And, since our current home is gas heated as well, I have had sinus infections regularly and maybe it's just the dry heat that's causing it. Can you imagine if something as simple as a humidifier remedies the issue? And I could have been well ALL THIS TIME. I am going to give it a shot. We'll see how it ends up!  Operation Humidifier is in effect.

limericks ...

There once was a reindeer named Randal
He burned off a hoof with a candle
He walks with a limp
They call him a gimp
And now he can't put on his sandal

There once was a babbling brook
that provided a drink for a crook
No one posted his bail
so he escaped from that jail
and his cup was all that he took

There once was a mean, little lady
the townspeople knew her as 'shady'
She wore really dark glasses,
called children dumb-asses
you couldn't tell if she was forty or eighty

There once lived an overweight turtle
he sucked in his gut with a girdle
he walked miles everyday 
he burned calories that way
but every pebble was more like a hurdle

... it leaves ...

The remnants of Fall ...

"Nothing gold can stay" -RF

endless praise for a measly buck ...

I remember being in one of the many cheaply named 'Dollar Store's one day and witnessing something that I will never forget. For some reason, this incident just popped into my head once again. I was with my mom, she was looking for something very specific, I can't remember what. We were just moseying around, in and out of conversation, when I saw a young boy, maybe about eight or nine years old, with his father. The boy was looking through a pile of frames - appropriately priced at one dollar each. He chose one in particular and ran up to his father with great excitement in his eyes asking "Dad! Dad! Can I get this frame to put my certificate in??!!" He must have done something pretty special to receive a certificate and he was clearly proud of his achievement. His father yanked the frame from his hand replying, "Put it back! We don't need a damn frame for that!!" The boy took the frame and placed it back on the shelf with a slightly defeated expression on his face. I was enraged. I pulled my mother to the side of the aisle and told her what happened. "Should I go buy that frame for the boy?" I asked. "Don't get into it, it's not our business" she replied. Which was completely true. I had no right eavesdropping on their sad moment in the Dollar Store and I had no right to override the father's wishes. But I couldn't help feeling like this boy was simply looking for some praise and to no avail. I contemplated confronting the father and giving him my unwanted opinion ... but again, I realized it was not my business.

This happened at least six or seven years ago and I can't believe how it haunts me still. I understand that money is tight and for certain families there is nothing extra allowed. But is ONE DOLLAR seriously going to break the bank?? Couldn't you fore-go the glass cleaner or a can of corn and buy your son something that will really show him that you are proud of him?? Man. It still burns me right up. You should have seen the boy's face. I hope that moment didn't have the impact on him that it did on me. Or worse.

the truth...

Well, I figure I owe it to anyone reading this nonsense, post after post, to be brutally honest. Sure, I have given you tidbits of information and brief glances at my life from a safe distance. And yes, I have spoken with sincerity about my husband, friends and family. But isn't there more to sheribloggins besides sarcasm, a fear of insects, a passion for decorating and love for horror films? ISN'T THERE??? Since I have kept my profile information short and sweet, please allow me to elaborate a bit on... well, ME. A bit self centered don'tcha think?? Yep. And that's just the beginning...

I have been unemployed since January. Now, before you go judging me - I am not a quitter or a lazy ass... I was no longer needed at my former job. The dismissal was super shady but I couldn't be happier now. At first, I didn't know what to do with myself. I applied for a crazy amount of jobs in a one week span - barely looking at the salary or requirements. Upon settling down, I eased into my new-found housewife-ism. I realized quickly that I need to win powerball so that I can forever be the awesomest housewife - and someday, mother - on the east coast. Currently I am still searching for a job that will allow me to continue paying my mortgage and seven million other monthly bills. And I am in good company, as tons of people are in similar situations, some better but most worse.

I wrote a children's book. Yes, yes I did. I have sent it to two publishing companies since the spring - no takers yet but I will keep floating that manuscript on and on and who knows? Maybe someday, someone will love it.

I don't make coffee everyday. Don't get me wrong. I DID. For the longest time. But lately I let myself decide in the morning - can I make it with just a small glass of milk in my little, pink Hello Kitty cup?? Or do I need two giant mugs of the good stuff? My D&D coffee preference? Medium iced Dunkin' Dark with milk and 3 sugar. I quit Splenda since I found out the ridiculousness that goes into it. Also because I bought a bag of Splenda and the weight of the bag made me want to vomit. It looks like snow and when you pour coffee onto it, it fizzes and foams up. MMMMMM granulated slow death crystals.

I am pretty selfish at times. I can't even apologize for it because it's just part of who I am. Breakdown: I would never turn my mom down if she needed help with anything or leave my friends flat in a desperate situation. But if you ask me to go to your candle party or jewelry party or Pampered Chef party - yeah I'm not going. If an invitation arrives in the mail for a 50th birthday party at a VFW hall and I don't know who the person is - yeah I'm not going. If I made plans for Friday night but it ends up rainy and I have cramps - guess who's canceling to put on pajamas and cozy up with a magazine? That's me.

If you make a comment to me that I don't like, I usually won't address it with you right then and there. A lot of times the setting doesn't allow for a confrontation. What will happen is - I will go home, LIVID over it, mulling it over a million times in my head, coming up with awesome comebacks and playing out elaborate scenarios. In time, I will move past the aggravation but will never quite fully forget what you said and how pissed I was about it.

I fully understand the dangers of skin cancer but I am one of the morons who slathers tanning accelerator on rather than SPF.

I am as stubborn as they come. I almost always discard good advice and learn my lessons the hardest way possible. And that has definitely played a huge part in my becoming a responsible adult. (Please refrain from pissing your pants laughing).

I do have my pride. And a LOT of armor. It takes an incredibly harsh person to really break me down but when they do - and they hurt my pride - it takes me a long, long time to build it back up.

I often say words when I burp. I know! I am charming as hell - hands off, guys, this 10 is married.

Perfect time to admit that I have absolutely no grace. I couldn't be LESS elegant. I envy graceful people.  I don't think they realize what an amazing quality that is. Just something as simple as getting into a car for instance ... graceful people just GLIDE in - almost weightless. Not me. I practically explode into that seat. Hair getting caught in the door, smashing my elbow on the console, change falling out of my pocketbook, a button getting ripped off of my pants pocket etc. It's not easy.

I would move to another state in a heartbeat. I appear to be very set in my ways and comfortable with the "regular" but that's not true. I could easily start a fresh life in a new place. Easily.

I am looking forward to being a mother someday. It took me a long time to feel like I am "ready" and a lot of people just didn't get that. I have had some battles over it in the past few years. And I had asked that friends and family stop the constant nagging as I didn't think it was fair to me. I just see it as an extremely personal matter and I really only share personal information on my terms.

I am not very affectionate. I am not the hug-spreader (although I have gotten much better thanks to Gregg, Cass and D). I don't like to get excited because it just makes it harder to deal with disappointments. I have a very firm grip on reality and my life and our finances and budget and household but at times I wish someone would just take that all over so I could put my hair in pigtails and play hopscotch. I do miss being a child with no responsibilities. I am a writer at heart. I love poetry and have written over two hundred of my own poems. I love art and music and movies. My memories mean the most to me. My biggest love is Gregg. I look forward to our future together as we grow old (starting with my crow's feet). My biggest fear is Alzheimer's. I worry too much. I wear the same jeans several times before washing them. I practically live in pajamas. I won't leave the house without makeup on. I am not a news watcher or a newspaper reader. I will read top stories online and that's that. I don't get into politics. I don't get into religion. I love pasta and eggplant. I eat four thousand eggs per week. My favorite band is Pearl Jam. I have a pretty solid crew of friends who are all exactly what I need them to be. I am very strong in many ways but can also be very weak. I have to talk myself into being confident. I still watch episodes of Full House every now and then. And I feel better in my thirties than I EVER felt in my twenties.

So that's more of me for you to "love" hahaha ... or maybe now you are realizing 'Hmmm, I don't think I like this Sheribloggins very much at all, actually'. Nah, I'm not all bad. I am who I am. I just wanted to give you a closer look.

... good mood, good reasons ...

Let me just start by congratulating the New York Yankees for winning their 27th World Series Championship. Yes, I was glued to the set for all of the post season games. My heart raced beyond safety pace for the past month and FINALLY last night they put themselves back on top!!! Sure, I had to celebrate this electric victory by myself, sitting in my recliner, ass half off the seat, texting fellow fans and quietly clapping and cheering so as not to wake up Gregg or cause panic-induced barking from Brody. BUT I couldn't care less. I almost forgot how awesome it feels to see your favorite team celebrating like the champions that they are on that home field. AMAZING. AWESOME SEASON!!!

Next, we move onto my nephew-watching today. Stacey, my sister-in-law, called yesterday for the favor. I love to watch the boys, they are fantastic. Alex is 5 and in Kindergarten, smart as a whip, creative, polite and obsessed with dinosaurs. Theo is 3 and in Pre-School, imaginative, tricky and obsessed with Batman and Robin. And Benjamin is the newly vaccinated 7 month old who has one of the sweetest smiles you'll ever see.

I arrived at 9:30 with my iced coffee and my "Yankees just won the world series" smile. The older boys had already finished breakfast and were getting ready to do some drawing in the dining room. Benjamin was being shuffled out the door for his visit to the shot doctor. Alex, Theo and I sat around the table for creative time. Alex was putting the finishing touches on a picture of Grover that he had colored half with pen and half with markers. Stunning. Theo was drawing the infamous Robin (of Batman and Robin) and made sure to remember the yellow belt around his super hero's waist. With my Bic, I whipped up some lame cartoony guy and a cloud and sun. Alex said "Hey, how'd you do that so fast??" "Ohhh, I have been drawing these guys for a long, long time" I answered. I then colored my hasty picture with typical primary colored crayons (some, which had sparkles in them!!!). 

When creative time had ceased, we moved into the living room for some good old fashioned 'what the hell kind of show is this?' television. I had never seen this particular show and Alex filled me in that we were watching PBS Sprout. Theo crawled up on the couch, in his Batman Halloween costume mind you, sucking his thumb with eyes fixated on the TV. Alex was sprinting around, in his striped pajamas, racing numerous Matchbox cars. At this moment, Theo decided that he wanted to play with these exact cars. Whining ensued. I pointed out that there are a million toys in the house and there is more than enough to go around. And that Theo was clearly watching television while Alex had his mitts on the cars. No need for fighting. Theo then switched gears and wanted to play the Muppet video game. PS3 was unhooked and I was positive that there was good reason for that. He then pointed out that there is a Lego Batman and Robin video game downstairs. So, off we went to check that scenario out. Two remote controls and 4 electronic gadgets later I decided that there wasn't enough time to figure the setup out and that brushing their teeth would be a better idea. Later, I would find out that video games are off limits until the weekend.... sneaky sneaky sneakyyyy.

Teeth brushing is easy. Alex puts Theo's toothpaste on his brush for him (the fruity one, not the "spicy" one) and they stand side by side brushing their little hearts out. Apparently Alex put the paste on a plain, old yellow toothbrush for T and he was UNhappy about that. "I want the spinny one!! Nooooo the one that spins I want that one!!! I don't want this one!!" Well, what do you know? The spinny one was right in front of my eyes. I scraped the paste off of Old Yeller and onto spinning Spiderman. Crisis averted. Next thing you know, "Mommy's home!!!"

Stacey pulled up with big, brave Ben. He had two shots and was a very good boy!! I didn't get to the face-washing or the school-clothes choosing but we had a good morning!! You can really learn a lot about these boys in such a short amount of time ... I enjoy watching them. They put me in a good mood.

As I drove away, I decided that I should take Brody somewhere 'special' today since the weather was decent. But up around the bend were dark, heavy, churning clouds that appeared rain-filled. I threw on Empire State of Mind in keeping with my "New York High" ... and followed the road home. A couple of egg whites on toast and a vitamin later - here I am ... enjoying my day with many reasons to smile. Don't bring me down!!!

boo ...

I say that Halloween is one of my two favorite days of the year (the other being Christmas Eve) but I am realizing there is no good reason.

It's not the trick-or-treating, because I stopped that in 6th grade. It's not the candy, because I can get Mounds any day of the year. It's not the ritual of opening the front door to Transformers, witches and 16 year old jerks wearing hoodies and carrying pillowcases, because my doorbell is broken, my dog is a pain in the ass and I shut my lights off for the only two groups of kids who actually come here. I guess what I love is horror films and Halloween decorations. For some reason I plaster my home with ghosts and pumpkins and witches and little, spooky Halloween signs ...  I just think it's "cute".

Does this make me a Halloween grinch?? Don't get me wrong, I love to see the kids dressed up and I, of course, remember my excitement as a child. But I guess something was lost along the way to my 32 year old mentality. Still, each year, I pop in the Garfield Halloween DVD and watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. And I don't feel that I have yet overdosed on Michael Myers, Jason, Dracula or Leatherface.

So, what the hell am I saying here? I guess just that I love coconut, cartoons, serial killers and HomeGoods.

it'$ okay...

So how come every time things take a turn for the worse, financially, I convince myself to buy scratch tickets?? Does this seem highly irrational to anyone else? I assume it is my panic defense mechanism. Well sure we don't have enough money to buy Christmas gifts for 20 people, cross Brody's vet visit off the list or fix the furnace BUT maybe this twenty bucks could win us millions instead of buying us more turkey sandwiches... Apparently this is my thought process.

Over and over again I find myself sitting at the dining room table with a pen, calculator, notepad, stack of bills and bottle of red wine just trying to make sense of my life. Okay, so I don't always use a calculator. Kidding, I take care of my finances without the use of alcohol, thank you. I prepare a new budget several times a year (when the scary occasion calls for it). I know how much money is coming in and the amount designated to every conceivable genre of expense yet SOMEHOW I manage to blow past that boundary time and time again. I read all of the silly articles about 'the best way to manage your money' - which, by the way, all contradict each other. I constantly try new systems and stay on top of our accounts daily but, again, Faily McBrokepants.

I have come to realize that MOST of the living world (and some of the dead) have debt. I have also come to realize that this is a constant in life and beating myself up over it will do no good.  I learned that: pretty much everyone in my life lives paycheck to paycheck, going to a movie and out to dinner is becoming a thing of the past, we are lucky as hell to have two paid off cars that are in great condition and that it could ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be so much worse.

So for anyone who is stressing over car repairs and rent and mortgages and groceries and clothing and the holidays - know that you are in GREAT company. The world suffers with you. Reality is not Hollywood. Maybe if they stopped making all of these ridiculous reality TV shows, we could get back to feeling comfortable about our own lives and stop giving a shit about theirs.