it'$ okay...

So how come every time things take a turn for the worse, financially, I convince myself to buy scratch tickets?? Does this seem highly irrational to anyone else? I assume it is my panic defense mechanism. Well sure we don't have enough money to buy Christmas gifts for 20 people, cross Brody's vet visit off the list or fix the furnace BUT maybe this twenty bucks could win us millions instead of buying us more turkey sandwiches... Apparently this is my thought process.

Over and over again I find myself sitting at the dining room table with a pen, calculator, notepad, stack of bills and bottle of red wine just trying to make sense of my life. Okay, so I don't always use a calculator. Kidding, I take care of my finances without the use of alcohol, thank you. I prepare a new budget several times a year (when the scary occasion calls for it). I know how much money is coming in and the amount designated to every conceivable genre of expense yet SOMEHOW I manage to blow past that boundary time and time again. I read all of the silly articles about 'the best way to manage your money' - which, by the way, all contradict each other. I constantly try new systems and stay on top of our accounts daily but, again, Faily McBrokepants.

I have come to realize that MOST of the living world (and some of the dead) have debt. I have also come to realize that this is a constant in life and beating myself up over it will do no good.  I learned that: pretty much everyone in my life lives paycheck to paycheck, going to a movie and out to dinner is becoming a thing of the past, we are lucky as hell to have two paid off cars that are in great condition and that it could ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be so much worse.

So for anyone who is stressing over car repairs and rent and mortgages and groceries and clothing and the holidays - know that you are in GREAT company. The world suffers with you. Reality is not Hollywood. Maybe if they stopped making all of these ridiculous reality TV shows, we could get back to feeling comfortable about our own lives and stop giving a shit about theirs.