April 29, 2012


May 5, 2011 ... a.k.a. Cinco de Mayo ... a.k.a. the day that our lives really started.

My husband and I had been awaiting this day for nearly five months. We were heading to the doctor's office for an ultrasound. Not just your typical ultrasound ... this was THE  ultrasound. We were about to find out the sex of our baby! I was cool and calm on the outside but man, was I bursting with excitement on the inside. Oh, the anticipation!! Such a wonderful feeling.

Our great friends were visiting from Colorado so a bunch of us started the day with a delicious breakfast at a (former) favorite spot. It wasn't until the very end of our meal and conversation that I mentioned our upcoming afternoon appointment. Their faces lit up! Our visiting friends -- having a four month old baby boy -- knew all about the joy that was about to rock our world. Everyone gave their best guesses and demanded immediate texts when we learned if we were blessed with a boy or girl.

Because of our previous loss (in October 2010) we had more ultrasounds than the average pregnancy would entail. Each one, along with excitement, brought a bit of anxiety and at times nausea. I think we were both preparing ourselves for bad news so the blow would be softened if that moment did come. And thank God it didn't. Not this time.

Gregg had worked that morning and finished up early and met me at home. We went to the appointment together, both ready to jump out of our skin. Nineteen weeks had led us to this moment... a long, long awaited moment in time that would change our lives forever. 

We found ourselves in that familiar room. The room where we first had received amazing news. The room where we had also received the most devastating news of our lives. We were ready. The tech rattled off the usual instructions and before we knew it we were viewing our little pea on screen. I think we were both amazed at how much the baby had grown. The tech began to show us the arms, legs, hands, feet, heart, kidneys, bladder, stomach etc. It was wonderful to hear and see that everything was growing and functioning as it should be! That is all that matters, after all. But you can't blame a new parent (or an old pro!) for being super excited to find out whether they're buying blue overalls or pink sundresses!

The time came. The tech asked us if we wanted to find out the sex. "OH YES!!" we anxiously replied. Naturally, the baby had its legs closed tightly together. The tech had to do some prodding. She moved my stomach around as if it were molding clay. I felt disgusting at the thought of my flab being pulled around like Silly Putty. I quickly thrust my self-consciousness out the window and focused on the news... "Well, it looks like you've got a little girl here!" Oh my God is she serious?? She wouldn't joke, would she? Do I get excited?? Is this for real or is she going to say BOY in a second?? My mind was racing and my smile, wide. Gregg grabbed and shook my foot as he knew how badly I wanted a baby girl. "GET OUT! I'll DIE!!" That's what I so eloquently said to the ultrasound technician. She again said she was pretty sure. I asked her for a percentage of accuracy and she felt that she was 85% accurate in her deciphering. I'll take it!! I was over the MOON. Gregg was beaming at the thought of his little baby girl (but I think he was mostly excited that I was getting my wish).

We floated out of that doctor's office. Our first stop? Target. I needed to buy sundresses immediately. And we did just that. Sundresses in pinks and yellows. Little sleepers with hearts on them. Mama's dream come true. I was having a baby GIRL.

My heart still leaps when I think of this day. I'm not a girl who gets everything she wants. I'm not the one you envy for my material possessions or awe-inspiring lifestyle. My life is very simple. It's about love. My love for my husband, my family and now this immense love for someone that I hadn't yet met but loved with all of my heart. My baby girl. My sweet Scarlett June. I got my wish this time. And all the wishes before it could not compare. I am forever grateful.

I'm linking this post up with The Lightning and the Lightning Bug for Dare to Share: 
The Big Day

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