Gregg's Sneaky Birthday Surprise ...

Guess who turned thirty-fiiiiiiive?? Yep. I know, I know, you can't believe it, right? I look like I'm twenty-six, right?? Alright, quit laughing and texting your friends to tell them what an ass I am. I've seen the smile lines. And the crows toes (I haven't quite got the full "feet" yet). I see the wisdom behind my eyes. And I've cursed gravity for being such an apparent douche.

But I'm happy.

I'm grateful to have my health, my wonderful marriage to the perfect husband and our beautiful baby girl. What more could I ask for? (It wouldn't kill ya to throw me a winning lottery ticket - just sayin').

So, this year when Gregg asked me eleven thousand times what I would like for my birthday - I was truly STUMPED. I actually wrote a post about it. (If you are going to fully understand the rest of this blog you'll want to read that, don't worry, it's short). I tried to think of things that Gregg could wrap up for me but honestly - - - it wasn't happenin'. The boy was on his own.

So when it came time for that faithful moment - the opening of the gifts - I had no idea what would be in those boxes. We sat at the dining room table and he pushed the big box toward me, "this first" he said.

I remarked about his marvelous wrapping job. I've always wanted to wrap the cover separately like they do in movies. I opened the mystery box to reveal five smaller, wrapped items. I was intrigued. As soon as I saw the first "gift" peeking through the pink paper I knew where this was headed. Reader's Digest. Then a pair of backless, shuffley slippers. Followed by an eyeglasses chain. With a bag of prunes next.

Lastly, a hideous housecoat that is basically made from the material of those bibs you get at the dentist...

Alright. Nice job, Gregg. He paid attention. He read the blog. He used that clever brain of his to throw me right off track. So, what now? This must mean that those two other boxes, the ones I had to keep aside, must hold the real present. What could it be??

Well, here's the answer...

Yep. A Lego helicopter and a Lego boat that Gregg promptly put together after I opened them. Don't worry, I was just as confused as you are.

"You missed the gift!" he said.

"I did??" I replied, puzzled. I had taken out various bags of Lego pieces along with instructions and nowhere in that pile did I see a Keurig or sapphire. I searched again. I noticed a folded piece of paper and opened it ...

I was flabbergasted. Truly. I read and re-read the sentences but couldn't believe this was for real. I looked at him and said, "But who's going to go with me??" and he said, "Who do you think??!!"

My husband, who is terrified of flying and easily gets seasick, has booked a helicopter tour of the Newport mansions for the two of us -- followed by an hour and a half long sail on an eighty foot schooner, topped off by reservations at an amazing restaurant by the ocean. What could be better than that?? Remembering my obsession with helicopters (I actually wanted to be a pilot for quite some time) and knowing how much I love the sea... he is setting aside his fears and vomit to make me happy. Now, THAT'S a gift.

I have a hell of a guy, I do. I know he's reading this right now because he says he reads all of my posts... so, thank you for my super sneaky wonderful surprisey birthday gifts!!
Blabey, you're the greatesssss!!