the itsy shitsy spider...

"My index finger stopped smelling like Desitin just in time to start smelling like Orajel"

Baby talk...

We've hit a bit of a rough patch over the past couple of weeks. First, miss Scarlett was hit with a stomach bug. Poor thing just did NOT feel good, you could see it in her beautiful eyes. For eight solid days she was leaking through all of her outfits. I did her laundry at least once each day for a week. It was so bad that I would RUN to pick her up from a seated/reclined/laying position when I could see her making "the face". My poor baby woke up in a puddle of horror every morning - and ohhhhhh the smell ... I shouldn't try to describe it, you may vomit. Well, screw it, I will say that it had a pungent, rotten popcorn aroma to it ... it was unacceptable.

one sad robe

Yes, robe. {As I typed that word I thought it looked so funny I had to second guess myself}. I don't know what it is about them but I just HATE robes!! I always have! It makes no sense. They are snuggly, warm, cozy, fluffy, soft ... should be a no brainer. But for some reason I have always had an aversion to them. Maybe I'm remembering my father's old 80's black and royal blue robe that looked like it was a second away from bursting into flames. Or maybe the classic cliche 'lady on the front stoop with rollers in her hair bending down to snatch the early morning newspaper' has turned me off. I don't know.

a letter to my dog...

Dearest Brody, 
I am truly sorry for neglecting you more-so since the baby arrived. You do need more playtime and lots of walks. I realize that throwing a cookie outside to you every two hours is a half-assed way to say 'I love you'. That being said, we do need to address your behavior. Simply put, you are being an asshole.