I'm a stubborn bird

I'm just winging it.

Motherhood that is. I mean, of course I google things almost daily to see what the others are doing. Ya know, like 'what kind of sippy cup is best' for Scarlett's age and 'give me some damn finger food ideas because I'm already stumped'. But ultimately, no matter who I ask for opinions, no matter what articles I read, no matter what informative emails I receive -- from the hospital that will continue to bleed me dry until I'm in the ground -- I do what I want. I buy the sippy cup that's pretty and fits her age group and I break up pieces of whatever the hell I want and put them on her highchair tray. The best part? She's doing just great.


I can easily see how new parents can get caught up in doing what's right. Or what's best. But what IS right and best? And who's to say that it is? I've heard so many variations of "rules" from doctors that practice in the same city, maybe three blocks from each other. Don't feed a baby eggs until they are a year old. Hold off on solids until six months. Use a pacifier for bedtime. These are all very common recommendations. But I've heard the complete opposite from doctors just as qualified. So who's right? Is anyone right? Isn't it all just a matter of opinion? A matter of who read which articles or who gave participated in which study and who believes what is best simply because of personal preference?

I gave my daughter eggs last week. Scrambled, in fact. And she loved them. She's also had strawberries with no allergic reaction. I realize she could have had an allergic reaction to both foods. But couldn't she have also had an allergic reaction to rice cereal? Or the very first drop of formula she sucked? Scarlett didn't use a pacifier. She didn't like them. I was asked to try substituting one for a bottle when she seemed hungry too early. I refused to do that. She started solids at four months exactly. And my doctor was actually the one who recommended it.

In the beginning I thought I would follow this manual. Some magical book of daily instructions. I thought everything would be planned out for me. How much formula to give her each day, which foods to start with and how much per serving, when to transition to finger foods, everything down to when I take out the little baby insert for the car seat and stroller. But these are things that you figure out on your own. Things that the baby will most likely tell you in one way or another. I was worried that someone would see me doing something wrong at first. Maybe I'd hear a whisper, "oh my god, look at her STILL carrying that baby in the car seat carrier, AND she has the straps in the wrong slots!!"  But I quickly learned that nobody is looking at those things. And if they are I couldn't give a rotten fig. Every mother was once a NEW mother. Maybe they remember what it was like to be winging it too.