October 22, 2009

i'm more of a "worry tumor" ...

It might be in bad taste to use the word "tumor" to describe myself. Some people are worry warts ... I take that to an extreme level and, from there, catapult it into another dimension. I am not like this at ALL times but let's go with MOST times. I will run down a couple of examples for you as told by my mind:

...What am I wearing for the bachelorette party? How should I wear my hair? Is the weather gonna be shitty? It IS gonna be shitty. I can't wear the suede boots. But it's gonna be cold!!! Those have fur in them, they would keep me warm. Maybe too warm. Don't wanna be sweating. Okay black heels. But the comfortable ones. Those aren't high enough. Shit. Now I can't wear the jeans I wanted to wear. So what jeans now? Everything drags on the floor except those. But I don't like "the butt" on those. Hmm now I have to change the shirt that I picked out to cover some of "the butt". So there goes that necklace I was gonna wear. And I have to change the pocketbook as well. It's POURING - do I need to bring an umbrella?? Yes. I will bring the umbrella. Where will I leave it? Oh I can just leave it in the limo. What if I forget to take it home? Ah who cares, it's just an umbrella that I don't ever use and feel ridiculous carrying...

...Have to pick up the gown on Thursday. Should I try it on one more time to make sure it's okay? But it's already steamed, don't wanna wrinkle it up. But it's gonna get wrinkled anyway when I sit in the car on Saturday. What if it needs to be fixed and I don't try it on?? Then I won't know until Saturday morning which is too late. Okay I will try it on when I bring it home. My stomach looks so fat in it. But I already looked for "undergarments" to no avail. I have a couple of options, if those don't work, screw it. Nothing I can do about it now. Should I wrap an ace bandage around my body? Does that actually work? I am eating asparagus twice every day this week to lose my water weight. Oh my god I am pms-ing and miserable and super tired. What if I have to spend the wedding day in the bathroom every two hours with my silver pouch full of tampons??? What if I can't find a bathroom when we go to take pictures?? Everyone will think I have the runs!!! Holy Mackerel. I have to get my period by Thursday or I am screwed. OR SUNDAY. That would be even BETTER! Okay Sunday, pray for Sunday. Shit. This means I will be extra bloated too. Great more stomach issues. What if the dress doesn't fit at all? What if I look like a snowman?? Wait, I can hide the stomach with the bouquet when I walk up the aisle. But what about the reception all night? Gotta suck it in as best I can...

This is just a mere hour of my worry. When I have something on my mind - I race through horrible "what-if's" like a kid through a hot fudge, creepy clown sundae. Most of it is for nothing. A lot of the scenarios I create in my head never come to light. I know deep down that worrying helps nothing and may or may not be the cause of these sexy crows feet that seemed to crop up last weekend. I guess it is part of my chemical makeup and not much I can do about it. Just be glad it doesn't ALWAYS come out of my mouth... my mind deals with most of the chaotic nonsense all on it's own. :) You're welcome. 


  1. I think it's a girl thing. I do the very same...then again my husband is bald also! I guess my only advice is to keep it to yourself...that way you only drive yourself even more insane until you finally snap. I pray to God that the snap will come soon cause then I won't give a rats ass about anything!

    J. Porter

  2. I laughed so hard I just read that aloud to Eric. :)

  3. Whew. Now I am exhausted. (reaching for a drink)

    Just kidding. (Not really.) But I am the exact same way. My big thing this weekend is just a MOMS Club coordinators' dinner tonight followed by a regional luncheon all day tomorrow. No big deal, right? Just a bunch of moms, like me. But no, I am freaking out - already had to change shirts because I was sweating so much - and want to look nice without looking like I was trying to look nice. And my face is all red. Redder than usual. WTF? Argh.

    Have fun at the wedding. Focus on having a good time and not on all that other stuff. Your husband and your friends love you very much, however you are - and besides, no one will even be able to see the rest of you after you knock them all blind with your shiny hair.

  4. hahaha thanks guys.

    craff, i hope you had a successful luncheon!! i don't know why we get so worked up over nonsense.

  5. Wow... I am the same worry.. I worry about things that have not happened and most likely wont happen and I play it all out in my head... the what ifs... and it is easy to do...
    being a military family, I play out the scenarios of us moving to every possible place, and if he gets deployed... it makes me crazy.
    I wonder if they have a medicine for this!

  6. yes erin, i think it's called grey goose. :)


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