August 22, 2014

The Scarlett Letters: Scarlett's Big Girl Room

Upon finding out that we are going to be blessed with a new baby, we knew we had lots of decisions to make. One being the issue of bedrooms. Scarlett's playroom was larger than her bedroom so we chose to combine the two, giving her the bigger room - since she is a big girl now. I knew that I wanted her to be out of the crib and into her big girl bed in her big girl room by the end of the summer. I wanted to allow for plenty of time for adjustments and I absolutely did not want her to feel like she was being kicked out by the baby.

We started by emptying out the playroom. We had lots of clunky dark furniture in there: chairs, a desk, a television and stand, bookcase - etc. The carpet was a disgusting gray, walls were painted dark gray and dark red - well, it was a movie room/office before Scarlett entered the scene. I had always wanted to paint the walls and brighten the place up but we were hoping to have another baby so we kept putting it off.

Once emptied, we went paint shopping. I knew I wanted pink and aqua walls after getting the inspiration from my friend's daughter's nursery. And I knew I wanted white furniture and a large bookcase and lots of storage. Gregg and Grandpa started by painting the walls and ceiling, immediately improving the room by a factor of ten. Next up, Gregg ripped out that horrific carpet. The crappy plywood floors looked ten thousand times better than that decrepit rug. Soon after, the contractor came and set up an  appointment to install the new floor. Once that floor was down I was in heaven. I could not believe how enormous and pretty it looked !! I was actually a bit envious. I would have killed for a room like that growing up. Scarlett, you're a lucky gal!

Once the cosmetic jazz was complete we shopped for new furniture and accessories - my favorite part! We decided to go with a twin bed for Scarlett and skip the whole toddler bed phase. We bought pool noodles to place under the mattress pad to keep her from rolling out of bed. I had a hard time deciding on bedding but ultimately chose Hello Kitty and it's really cute. Gregg and I spent a very long day shopping for last minute pieces and putting it all together and the result is just lovely. I am so, so happy with it. When Scarlett saw it for the first time she was so excited, her face made my heart melt!

Here are some pictures...






Scarlett LOVES her new room and has easily transitioned from the crib to the bed. We feared that she would be up and down all night until she was used to it but she hasn't done that once! She waits, as I asked her to, until I come in to get her each morning. She even took a nap in it twice! Seeing her happy makes us happy and it makes all of the hard work well worth it.



Now, onto the nursery! Eeeeeeeeeek! :)

August 21, 2014

second baby girl on the way ...

Yes, it's true! It feels so good to finally share the news. Sharing great news always feels good though doesn't it?

It's been a long road. But no longer or more challenging than the road traveled by so many others. And so many others have been robbed of the joy of sharing news like this. So, I first acknowledge them - my dear friends and strangers alike - my heart is with you.

Gregg and I have had our troubles in the past. After a year and a half of trying to conceive, I became pregnant and had a miscarriage. Three months later I started a healthy pregnancy and had my darling Scarlett. When Scarlett turned one we decided to start trying again. A year and a half passed once again and my hopes dwindled as each page of the calendar was turned. And then it happened. And we began another amazing chapter. And here we are - grateful, excited, elated and anxious.

It was May 7th when we learned of the happy news. Gregg had the day off, the weather was beautiful and I had planned for us all to go to the playground. After breakfast I told Scarlett she needed to try to use the potty for five minutes before we headed out. She furiously refused, (she still does). After twenty minutes of crying, whining, tantrums and my growing frustration I headed back downstairs to unpack our bag. I sat in my rocking chair and my eyes filled with tears. After dealing with too many stress factors that week I had finally reached my breaking point. Wait, what? Tears? So not like me. I immediately went to take a pregnancy test and within seconds I saw the plus sign. In disbelief I went upstairs to show Gregg who was still trying to coax Scarlett. We were both in total shock. After eighteen long months we were finally looking at a positive result! It explained so much - like my inability to cope with certain situations over the past week. My emotions had been all over the place and my patience was worn clean through. I took a second test later in the day to be sure and that's when I read the word pregnant - and THAT was a great moment.

For the next three months I battled constant, relentless nausea. No vomiting but the kind of nausea that makes you beg for a quick puke to feel some relief. Every smell made me sick. I couldn't think of a single thing I wanted to eat and had to force myself to eat anything at all. I spent my mornings hovering over a can of ginger ale at the kitchen counter while Scarlett had breakfast. I gagged down oyster crackers and lemon drops to kill the horrid metallic taste in my mouth. I was exhausted. I became the worst playmate ever for Scarlett. Basically, I was in my first trimester. (Nobody likes to hear a pregnant woman complain because we all know what a blessing pregnancy really is ... but man alive, it can get pretty nasty).

Fast forward a bit and you'll find me feeling better. Gregg and I were in a mad dash to get Scarlett's big girl room started and completed within a month. We decided it would be best to move her out of her (smaller) bedroom to the (bigger) playroom. We spun it in a way that made her very excited and proud - I didn't want her to feel booted for a single second.

Yesterday was the most exciting day yet. I had the anatomy ultrasound. I had been praying for another girl for so many reasons and Gregg wanted a boy for obvious reasons. Well, my prayers were answered and we are expecting another little pigtailed spitfire. I'm beyond thrilled. The idea of sisters just makes me smile. I saved everrrrrryyyyyyythinnnnng. We will be upgrading just a few things and buying some new basics but we basically have all that we need. And I'm looking forward to seeing all of those adorable outfits, shoes and sleepers for a second time.

I'm feeling good, feeling blessed and feeling incredibly grateful. And I just cannot wait to see how Scarlett fills her new role as 'big sister' ... it could go either way haha.

Due date: January 15, 2015

April 23, 2014

"this is the strangest life I've ever known..."

Today is April 23. Which means in two days I will be turning 37. Thirty.... seven. How on earth??

I don't actually mind the number at all - I am simply amazed at how quickly I've arrived at it. And at the same time in awe of the long road I've taken.

Roll back the calendar about fifteen or twenty years. You would most likely find me sitting on my bed in my blue-heavy bedroom burning incense and listening to The Doors, writing poetry and chain-smoking cigarettes, wearing a tie-dye shirt with my long hair hanging in my face. While I had several large circles of close friends and was a social person - I was very much alone in my own mind. Oh how I brooded. I was convinced I didn't have a place in this world. I wished that I'd been born decades earlier. And although I was boy-crazy from age four I just knew that I'd never find anyone that would look twice in my direction. Painfully insecure, I trudged through my days with bottles of Captain Morgan which basically acted as fifty pound weights on my ankles, anchoring me in my own hell. I desperately wanted to escape my reality. At age 36 I can look back upon that reality and say it wasn't that bad but going through it without knowledge or experience was a different story. Everyone has to fight their demons, everyone has a path to take.

My path has lead me here.

Sitting in my lovely home that I share with my beautiful family. Not my bed but a pretty rocking chair. Not my bedroom but a cozy living room. Not incense but a meadow-scented candle. Not The Doors but the sounds of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the television. Not poetry but still writing. Not tie-dye but still a t-shirt. Long hair still in my face but the cigarettes have been gone for many, many years. Still insecure but never do I feel alone. My social circles have changed but not entirely - I've just built deeper friendships with fewer people. Perhaps the biggest change is that I no longer desire an escape route. I love what I've built - on my own and together with my husband.

I've accepted that no matter how hard I've tried there are just some things will probably never change like my incredible self-consciousness. And I guess that's okay. Because that's just the way I am...
and ...