Treasure your moments...

Today, I stood in the snow at my grandmother's grave. My mother, as always, brought the sweetest arrangement of seasonal flowers and little ornaments for her mother and father. We always make a few comments about them and how nice they are... followed by comments on how disgusting it is that they will be tossed in the dumpster or resold by the jerks who take them away after a few weeks. For shame. 

I hadn't gotten a chance to change my boots from earlier in the day so I was naturally wearing inappropriate footwear for snow-trudging. We joked as the buckles kept coming unsnapped as I pulled each foot out of the mounds of snow. Foolish girl with zero grace. We cleaned off the grave stone, arranged the flowers and took our moments. It was in those moments that I had the best holiday montage play in my mind. It was of nearly every holiday that I'd spent with my grandmother for all of our forty years together. The images were so vivid. The happiness that I saw and felt was so pure. And at that point I was reminded that I hadn't really lost my grandmother. I lost the ability to make future memories with her. And, while that feels immense a lot of the time, it's always comforting to look back with such admiration on the countless times we shared together. 

I am always telling the girls that it's never about the things that we GET it's always about the time that we spend together with the people that we love. We could be doing the simplest thing together and that will be cemented in our memory forever. For example, one of my most treasured memories with my grandmother is of us watching a TV adaptation of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane on a Thanksgiving Eve. Part of the reason I think it stuck with me is because I was so happy to be allowed to stay up until it ended at 11 pm. Another reason is because Lynn Redgrave was semi-terrifying in that role. Either way, Gram and I shared a love for thrillers. I remember watching Hitchcock with her and sharing books like Rosemary's Baby. You'd never think it to look at her but she did love her a creepy tale. 

Holidays will never pass without me reminiscing. In so many ways Gram WAS our holiday. She would come to our house the night before and help prepare the meal. She always cleaned the turkey for Thanksgiving (because my mother skeeved it beyond belief). I can't tell you how many Christmas mornings I stood layering lasagna with her... I remember how she always took a little of the ricotta mixture for herself. 

It truly is the little things that make the fondest memories. It's not about getting that bike when you were ten. It's that someone ate the entire bowl of onion dip with their hands. It's about getting the giggles during Midnight Mass and possibly exchanging words with the people sitting in front of you while your mother sat mortified beside you pretending to shrink into her pocketbook. It's about anxiously awaiting the arrival of your Christmas Eve dinner guest, staring out the front window, steamy from when you'r mom drained the pasta. It's the joy on the faces of everyone you love. 

It's in those moments that we are most human. Let's have all of those moments this week, the week after that and every week following. 

Don't lose sight of what brings you joy. It's been a tough year no doubt - but even when the gatherings are small there are still big moments to cherish. 

Wishing you all the happiest of holidays. Cheers to 2021! Hoping it brings good health and joy to you all. 

(This one's for you, Gram).

With love,

Sheri 

Thanksgiving...

... And there it goes. Another Thanksgiving under our belts, hope you all had a wonderful day!

Our holiday was a bit strange as usual - we are always trying to come up with the best way to split time between families. It's really never easy to do. This year we did something different.

My goal is to someday be able to cook holiday dinners in my home. It's not going to happen anytime soon. It's complicated. My father is unable to visit - he's confined to a wheelchair and needs special transportation (not to mention a ramp which we don't have). We would never leave him home alone on the holiday. My husband's family goes to his sister's house. Her husband cooks an enormous meal and hosts his family and friends along with Gregg's parents and grandfather. They wouldn't be able to come to our house for the holiday because they always host. My mother gets stuck doing all of the cooking and preparations for my family every year for every holiday - along with the help of my soon-to-be 92 year old grandmother. Since I can't do all of the cooking for her I want to help her as much as possible. She has her hands full everyday as it is. She's tired. She shouldn't have to work so hard on a day that is supposed to be enjoyed by all.

On Wednesday I took a couple of  'jobs' from my mom and handled them at home. I realized it was such a tiny portion of the work ahead of her so Gregg and I decided to change our plans. I normally bring Scarlett to Gregg's sister's house around noon and leave at two-thirty to go to my mom's. We eat dinner at three - the work is all done when I get there. His sister had dinner at four o'clock this year because she had to work during the day. So Gregg brought Scarlett to visit her uncle and Grandparents while I went to help my mom. At three he shuttled her to my mother's house for dinner. We saw each other long enough to snap this picture of the three of us.

He carved the turkey (because my father is unable to) and headed back to have dinner with his family. A bit unconventional, yes. We were both able to spend time with our families although not with each other. Still, we had it much better than so many people who simply cannot be with their loved ones on the holiday. My mother very much appreciated the help and my grandmother appreciated being able to rest.

Until I can take over and spend the holidays in my own home I am going to continue to try to lessen the burden on my mom. I think after forty years she deserves the break.

I hope you all had a lovely time with your family and friends. There is so much to be thankful for - and one of those things is the side of pumpkin chocolate-chip cake I'm about to have with my coffee. Cheers! 

a rotten post...

For those of you who know me - you know I am a grateful person. You know I'm always recognizing the many wonderful things that I'm thankful for in my life. So, in this lovely 'thank-filled' month of November I'd like to switch it up and be a rotten bitch. Here is an annoying post filled with complaints, "I want"s and "I hate"s. Enjoy!

1. I'd love to have a law enforcement official sit in my driveway and hand out tickets to every single one of my reckless neighbors who plow through the stop sign at the top of our street. And then have them hand out a second ticket to the very same neighbors who, upon returning home, whip around the corner at lightning speed just to get to their driveways. I'd like them to do this daily until each neighbor is so broke from ticket-paying that they are unable to afford their home, forcing them to find another hood and paving the way for awesome people to move in and exchange holiday goodies with me.

2. I wish I could visit the twenty-year old me so I could punch myself in the face for over-plucking my eyebrows causing my future years to be filled with the daily task penciling in fake hairs with expensive crayons.

3. I could eat an entire danish ring from Panera if I allowed myself to. I have incredible willpower when it comes to eating the good (bad) stuff. I would be 900 lbs if I didn't.

4. While I do put in the time and effort on a lot of things there are some things I just want without having to learn / work for them. Like to know how to sew. Or build stuff, like tables or cabinets. I'm not a fan of math or measuring so I'd like the magic wand for these kinds of skills.

5. I get aggravated by some of those e-cards and things that float around on Facebook. I'm pretty easy-going but I still have a line that can get crossed. I hate when people over-push their views/opinions on others. Be passionate but don't be an asshole.

6. I despise Bitstrips. Oh how I hate them. I have never seen one that is even remotely interesting, never mind funny. I get that it's between friends - an inside joke kinda thing and the characters are supposed to look like you even though they really don't. But it's dumb as hell. (Here's where Bitstrips fans yell, "YOUR BLOG IS NEVER REMOTELY INTERESTING OR FUNNY -YOUR BLOG IS DUMB AS HELL!" - stole your thunder, didn't I?)

7. I can't deal with people that text while driving. I wish there was an instant whistle you could blow that would make their phones melt.

8. I want a new chair. My recliner has been broken for well over a year and I finally abandoned it last month. I just stare at it with disgust as I walk by en route to the couch which is lopsided or Gregg's recliner which is also broken and requires at least two pillows. My lower back has never ached more. After the holidays we are buying some frigging seats. What do you think? One of those hanging swinging chairs? A papasan? A beanbag?

9. I hate that we have to rely on technology and morons to keep our lives running smoothly. Direct deposit goes awry and fouls up your entire existence for days on end. Human error or computer error - either way, it wasn't my error but it affects my life. How dare youuuuu! Makes me dream of The Mosquito Coast - remember that movie??

10. I don't enjoy Thanksgiving. Oh, calm down - it's not because I'm not thankful for family and health - it's because I don't like the menu. I'm not a turkey, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce kind of girl. Give me a salad, some lasagna and eggplant parm. Christmas dinner for the win!

Happy Thanksgiving, friends. I hope you all enjoy YOUR turkey dinners with your loved ones. Please don't go shopping after dinner - sit and visit with the people who mean the most. Don't spend your holiday fighting a jerk for an iPad and swiping your card in front of a salty cashier. Have a nightcap and an extra slice of pie, tell stories by the fire - reminisce and make memories. The sales can wait.