What's getting me by...

Happy Saturday, gang! 

I haven't felt like posting in a while but today I figured I'd pop by for a few. I hope you are all feeling well and able to enjoy some of the weekend. It's rainy here but I've always been a fan of the gloom. It's a day of laundry and cleaning and organizing ... much like every other single day of my life.  

I am writing this by the hum of the dryer and the welcomed sounds of Christmas music playing from my iTunes. That's right. Sing it, Mr. Como. 

Lately, I've been in a pretty good groove. Sure, things around me are exploding and crumbling to the ground but we are managing this household with grace. HAHAHAHA. Sorry, I cannot pretend that I have one ounce of grace. Not even for a second. But we are muddling through as best we can. We have been keeping our circle small and finding allllll the ways to keep the girls engaged, active, creative and happy. Thank you, Intex, for your weird yet adequate pool. It is the only way we can stand the unacceptable heat of the summer in our backyard. We all know I'm not traipsing through a forest until every last bug has died and the temp drops below 60. It will come. It always does. 

The idea that Fall is on its way is just enough to propel me through this insane hurdle that is "Back to School." We have opted to continue with distance learning and I feel good about that. I empathize with every teacher out there. These are titanic decisions to be made and are no doubt exhausting. Thank you for giving up your summer to do your best as always. I only hope that seeing a chunky, rust colored sweater in Target will bring you a fraction of the joy that it brings me. 

In just a few days I will be switching out my most dreaded calendar block (May, June, July, August) for my absolute favorite (September, October, November, December). I know, it seems insane to even bring this up in a blog post but I've done it. And I've probably done it in the past as well but we all know how polished my memory is. I cannot wait for the crisp mornings. Being able to sit out on the deck without sweating and buzzing sounds. NOT watering flowers. Can we just accept the fact that I don't enjoy plants. I feel like they try to please with their beauty and benefits but it's just not enough for me. I don't know what I'm doing, I kill them... or stunt them... overwater or underwater. I find myself sneering at them. They know they're unappreciated and they act accordingly. It's mutual really. Give me some mums on the front steps for a month. I can do that. 

I have spent a LOT of time watching Christmas and Winter themed Hallmark movies. I'm a changed woman. I know now that I was meant to live in a mountain town with kind folk and a super charming Main Street. I should be wearing fair isle sweaters and scarves and spending all of my time baking goodies for my little shop on my husband's tree farm. Traveling only by horse-drawn sleigh and having at least one spontaneous snowball fight weekly. Warm drinks in my hand all day and night. Hygge forever! Seriously though, I am hooked on the dreamy idea that people really do live that way. And I really do dream of being one of them. 

I'm off to crank the central air, make some hot chocolate and throw some ice at my kids. Gotta start somewhere, right? 

Have a great weekend! 

xo 

Summer ... how times have changed

August, huh? The summer days are just flying on by, aren't they? I can't say I'm sad about it. I'm not a big fan. My days of peaceful beach outings are gone. My solo trips to the Beavertail cliffs with a towel, iPod and water bottle are a distant memory. Now a day at the shore requires a full staff just to carry the gear and another to tackle the kids. I might sit down just long enough to get shit on by a seagull. MIGHT.

But I am enjoying certain elements of the summer. I keep reminding Scarlett of the importance of lazy mornings. Come September it's full time school for thirteen years. Oh, to think of the crusts I'll be cutting off. I've made my school supplies lists and plan to finish that sooner than later. I don't want to be throwing punches over an eight pack of crayons while someone rips the Ticonderogas out of my cart. I'm not one to shop in a crowd. Or to do much else in a crowd for that matter... I need my space. We went to Mystic Aquarium last week and I shuddered as I was touched by every elbow, diaper bag and plush squid. A Pearl Jam concert is pretty much the only acceptable crowd I'll be found in. I'll take a few drunkards scream-singing Rearviewmirror over a family of ten rushing the sting ray tank any day.

My kids are driving me frigging crazy though. I'm finally at that point where I "get it". The glee that moms feel when the initial back-to-school ads are shown in like July. The parents cheering as the first day of school arrives, shoving their kid down the front steps, chucking their lunch bag through the bus window. I never understood it before and always kinda felt like it was harsh but now having gone through a collection of days where I literally yell for what feels like sixty seven hours straight I get it. When I look back on the former me I can't remember yelling more than a handful of times in my life. Aside from fights with my parents as a rude, inconsiderate teen - I don't think I ever yelled. I mean, what the hell would I yell about? If the post office was out of Charlie Brown stamps and I got stuck with the holiday birds? If my neighbor was blasting his shit music in the driveway for hours? If I was stuck in traffic on a bridge for two hours on a Friday evening? Nope. Not yelling over any of that jazz. Now? I steady yell. In fact, I think my regular speaking voice is actually a half yell now. My eyebrows are now stuck in permanent stern-face position. I begin yelling before 7:30 am. It doesn't end until 9 pm some days. It's exhausting being continuously pissed off. There are glorious moments in between where the girls are getting along nicely and actually playing together without bloodshed or when Daisy finally takes a good nap. When Scarlett is helpful and doesn't fight me on every single thing I tell her to do. Those moments are fleeting though. And my boiling point is quickly reached over and over again. It always works best if I separate the girls. They can be excellent when unhindered. Scarlett is too used to getting things her own way and Daisy is just trying to be two. The mix can be devastating. I force them together as much as possible to try to crack the code but sometimes it's best if I just put them in solitary.

I look back on my summer vacations as a child and realize those were truly some of the best times of my life. Playing outside with friends from sunup to sundown. Eight hour days at the beach. Pool swimming followed by lazy cartoon-filled afternoons. Ahhhh... to be a kid again.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go rip a crocodile game out of my kid's hands.