Grinches. The lot of them.

I just challenged myself to write a blog post within fifteen minutes. I don't have a topic so let's go withhhhhhhhh....

"Why the hell won't you just watch The GRINCH?"

Alright so anyone who knows me knows that I love Christmastime. I start listening to Bing Crosby while putting together Halloween costumes. I stalk the aisles of the stores for the first sign of a wonky, red bow or those chocolate covered cherries that I only really notice during the holiday season. Do they really sell them year round? I begin tucking away ideas for what I want to put on the mantle or the dining room table. I search "retro Christmas" on Pinterest just because it makes me incredibly happy to see the results. I make lists of possible gift ideas, I DVR forty thousand Hallmark Christmas movies (which I later narrow WAY down because I typically despise the cast within the first ten seconds) and I peruse the lovely internet for the girls' holiday dresses.

The BEST time of the year, gang.

So, why am I not sitting by the fire with my family sipping hot chocolate and watching Frosty, you ask?  Well, because my children seem to boycott all things Christmas except when it comes to curating their list for Santa. MmmHmm. "Ughhh, Christmas music againnnnn?" Um. YEAH. For certain. Yes. It is nearly DECEMBER. You bet your boots you're going to hear some Perry Como while I do the dishes.

"You know what we're doing tomorrow?.... Decorating for Christmas!"

"UGHHHHH, Mommyyyy, enough with Christmas!"

Um. Excuse me? What child doesn't want to see festive little trees and Santas strewn about their living room? We have frigging sleigh bells hanging up for crying out loud. I don't get it.

I only have three minutes to wrap this up and meet my challenge so let me just end with this tale...

Just about every night I ask the girls if they will watch a "holiday special" with me. And every night the answer is a thundering NO. No Rudolph. No Frosty. No Grinch. No Garfield. (That's right, I took you way back). I don't know why they refuse so much. My best guess is that because we live in the age of digital tv and DVRs - nothing is actually "special" because they can watch whatever they want whenever they want. They have twelve shows that they adore and all of them have their own holiday episodes. Not like when I was young and if you missed Rudolph you would have to wait a full year to catch that special again. And you were bummmmmmmed.

The times they have a'changed. So help me, God, these kids will enjoy my favorites with a smile across their face by the time I'm through, I just need some Christmas magic. *wink.

Crap. I blew the challenge.
HA! xo

End of year questionnaire for the kids...

Happy New Year, friends! I wish you all good health, happiness and wealth in 2018! CHEERS!

At the end of each year I like to do a questionnaire with the girls just for fun. I love hearing their answers each year and looking back on their old ones that I've filed away.

Feel free to ask your children and share!

Here are some Q's & A's from 2017 ...

SCARLETT: Age 6

Where is the most wonderful place you've ever been?

Maggie's house

What are you good at?

Drawing pictures

What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?

I like your clothes. Or outfit today. Or hairstyle.

What are you most proud of?

How much I can read 

What do you want to be when you grow up?

An artist 

What makes you cry?

When Daisy hits me

What are you scared of?

Nothing

What is your favorite song?

Shape of You, Castle on the Hill

What is a friend?

A person that you love a lot and play with. A brother or sister

What is your favorite memory?

When me, Ava and Maggie made jewelry boxes

Who is your best friend?

Maggie & Ava

What is your favorite thing to do with your family?

Make a gingerbread house, bake cookies, decorate the Christmas tree

What's the best thing about being a kid?

Playing with toys, no washing dishes or cleaning

What makes you happy when you're sad?

When a friend comes to play with me

What's the greatest thing ever invented?

Shopkins toys

What is your favorite word and why?

Gems. Jewelry. Crystals - because I love them

If you were in a band what instrument would you play?

Drums

What three words would you use to describe your family?

Loving, happy, fun

What is something you'd like to learn how to do?

Make jewelry

What is the hardest thing you've ever had to do?

Color a reallllllly big paper at school

Favorites:

Book: Shopkins Collector's Guide

TV Show: The Pioneer Woman

Movie: The Polar Express

Place: GeeGee's house

Foods: Pizza, strawberries, apples, ice cream, tacos, soup, pancakes, cookies

Thing to do with Daisy: play games

Thing to do with Daddy: treasure hunting

Thing to do with Mommy: bake cookies

Season: Summer and Winter

Day of the year: Christmas Day

Thing about school: When there's different teachers on lunch duty

Animal: kitty

Piece of clothing: sparkly blue kitty shirt

Shoes: light-up hi-tops 

DAISY: Age - alllllllmost 3

Where is the most wonderful place you've ever been?

GeeGee's house

What are you good at?

Tricks. I love owls

What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?

Thank you

What are you most proud of?

Hug Scarlett

What do you want to be when you grow up?

An artist/painter

What makes you cry?

When Scarlett hits me

What are you scared of?

The witch with Sid Fishy from Bubble Guppies

What is your favorite song?

Shape of You, There's Nothing Holding Me Back

What is a friend?

Snowy Owl

What is your favorite memory?

Painting

Who is your best friend?

Owen the owl

What is your favorite thing to do with your family?

Crafts

What's the best thing about being a kid?

Playing

What makes you happy when you're sad?

Scarlett playing with me

What's the greatest thing ever invented?

Owls

What is your favorite word and why?

Owls. They are cute

If you were in a band what instrument would you play?

Drums because they are loud

What is something you'd like to learn how to do?

Color on paper - not on the table, not on the place mat 

If you had to give away all of your toys but one, which would you keep?

Minnie ball. Owls

Favorites: 

Book: Little Owl's Night

TV Show: Bubble Guppies

Movie: Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas

Place: Store

Foods: Soup, pizza, PB & J 

Thing to do with Scarlett: Paint

Thing to do with Daddy: Put googly eyes on

Thing to do with Mommy: Paint

Season: Summer and Winter

Day of the year: Christmas

Animal: Owl

Piece of clothing: Owl clothes

Shoes: Shopkins shoes, owl boots

Can anyone guess what theme Daisy's birthday party will be? Hahaha 

Despite our wiring...

I was at Scarlett's friend's birthday party today and, without Daisy there to keep me running and worrying, I was free to think about random nonsense for a little while. I stood, arms folded, just watching calmly. Scarlett was off bouncing with her friends and I was chatting with other parents who had a bit of freedom themselves. We started discussing how certain things in our lives have changed since having children. Mainly the stress level, the worry factor and the seemingly endless guilt. But also how we try so hard to teach our kids how to be wonderful people... despite their wiring. I know I'm still trying to be a wonderful person despite MY wiring. I'm as stubborn as they come, I hold grudges, I worry about ridiculous things and I over-think overthinking. It's just who I am, love it or leave it.

I will dissect a situation that is months away, study its pieces, agonize over the unchangeable, glue the pieces back into a ball of stress, occasionally chip tiny bits from it whilst trying to fall asleep one night only to inevitably arrive at said situation and have the most pleasantly carefree time ever. All unnecessary pre-worry. And when someone tells me, "Don't worry about it, you can't change it, it is what it is, leave it at that" it actually makes me defiantly-worry. Like I'm going to get some sort of satisfaction by showing you that I can worry and it'll be for a good reason. Complete loon.

As for the guilt thing, I don't know how it happened but shortly after Scarlett was born I just gained a new feeling. Aside from the C-section numbness in my gut I had this lovely pool of guilt that took up space in my brain... or is it in my heart? Tough to tell. I am forever questioning myself. Even with something as magical as Christmastime! I move that damned elf every night to see the awe and wonder in the eyes of my girls each morning and then feel that PIT of guilt because I'm being sneaky and "tricking" them. I felt guilty writing that sentence. It never ends! Guilt for not putting Scarlett in her dance class holiday showcase. Guilt for not letting her go to every birthday party she is invited to. Guilt for not taking her to ride her bike much. Guilt for sending cereal for most of her school lunches. Guilt for buying her the greek yogurt with added sugar. Guilt for not having many new things for Daisy and relying mostly on her big sister's hand-me-downs. Guilt for not having a big birthday party at our home for Daisy because it is in January unlike Scarlett's usual backyard bash in September. Guilt for putting Daisy down for a nap early sometimes because I just need a break. Guilt for not forcing the girls to eat more vegetables and serving lots of eggs and pancake dinners. BLAH!! I'm not having it. If only some  feelings had off switches.

I know I'm not really doing anything wrong. I know it's my wiring. I know I'm giving my one thousand percent every single day for these kids. I try as hard as I possibly can to mold the girls into caring, respectful, well-rounded, well-read people. I worry, I stress, I make pancakes. But I also spend time reading with them every single night. I draw and color with them at our table. I play silly games and make up crafts and answer as many questions as my brain will allow. I teach them about kindness and being grateful and about traditions. I discuss anti-bullying and inclusion on a regular basis. I tell them nobody is perfect and we can't help but to feel what we feel. I do my best. I hope for them to do their best. Despite our wiring our hearts are good. And we continue to walk our path...