A nightmare seems to lose its terrifying luster when you try to explain it to someone else. I toyed with even writing it down but it was so vivid and so real and when I shot out of bed at ten of five this morning I prayed to not go back to sleep.
I dreamed I was at a little country store and saw a scrap of paper pinned to a board. The paper read something like this: "Curious about all the noise at the farm? Wondering about the dump trucks and backhoes? Come see what all the fuss is about, we'll be there to answer your questions." Now, in real life I wouldn't even be glancing at that board let alone mulling over the decision to go to that farm.
Sure enough - I was headed to the farm. Walking along the dirt road I heard the buzz of the big engines and knew I was almost there. Without hesitation I walked up the "driveway" to this gigantic dirt farm. Right away a man met me, he came out of the shadows of the tree-lined property. He was grimy and weathered. I figured from years of tending a farm. There were no other curious townspeople around - only me, Grimy and the men in their machines. Immediately, Grimy said, "You're only about five feet tall, aren't you? That's perfect. Just perfect." (Very Buffalo Bill from the van scene in The Silence of the Lambs). I was confused by his statement and when I looked behind me two other men had joined us. Fear. Horror. Panic.
The next scene had me dragged into an underground cell where I was met with dirt and darkness. Hopelessness punched me in the face and I woke up.
My heart raced for a good twenty minutes. I got up and walked around, I DID NOT want to get back into that dream, into that cell. I was able to keep from falling asleep for over an hour and the next dream was a pain in the ass but manageable. (Tornado was coming and the ceiling of my living room was leaking rain and plaster - it was a holiday, Gregg was working and for some reason nobody was available to help. Bah, child's play compared to most of my nightmares).
When I have these frightening dreams I immediately think of the people that have actually been in these situations in real life. I know the feelings of fear, despair, hopelessness - but only for a moment. I have such admiration for people that endure these horrible happenings, they live through them, the survive and they move on. Holy Sh$#.