Long overdue.
Since my sister-in-law's husband has been hazing me about my meek and weak blog - I thought it only appropriate to honor him with a tribute to his ball bustin' ass. So, Mr. Vuth Phok... this one's for you, small guy.
Your family means the world to you
You will always put them first.
When it comes to cooking, you're the best
but dressing, you're the worst.
Patriots shirts, Red Sox hats
and slippers everyday
Just because you're married to Stacey
doesn't mean you aren't gay.
I appreciate your generous spirit
and your positive outlook
but we don't always wanna hear it
when you describe the shit you took.
You fill a room with laughter,
then clear it with a fart
It's a sale you're always after
A true cheapskate at heart.
I am blessed to have you in my life
minus the widespread gas,
I give tons of credit to your wife
for dealing with your thrifty ass.
You're a wonderful father to your boys
which I definitely admire.
Even though you won't buy them any toys
that aren't in the Job Lot flier.
All in all, I love you
I wouldn't trade you in for gold
You make fun of me for lots of things
but you're the one that's OLD.
One more thing before I go,
to my dearest Guitar Hero,
I tried to think of a true insult
yet I came up with zero.
Happy blog-reading ya jerk!
xo
November 29, 2009
November 24, 2009
"how 'bout this one?"
Ahhhh the Christmas Tree Farm.
Every year, usually on opening day, Gregg and I trek out to Leyden's Tree Farm to tag our one-of-a-kind Christmas Tree. They opened this past Saturday and we continued our tradition. I sort of cornball it up by shuffling a playlist on my ipod of holiday favorites while we take the twenty minute ride. When we come to the driveway I always laugh at the sign because it says "Big John's" and for some reason I find that hilarious. We pull into the lot and find our parking space. This time Gregg accidentally hit my elbow with the door of the Jeep so that made for a memorable entrance as I flailed around laughing at the top of my lungs. Like I have mentioned before, graceful and elegant, I am not. We walked past the Tim Horton's trailer and I, of course, remarked "mmmm coffeeeee" while Gregg said "I want a coolata" ... random. We made our way to the little hut o' farm employees for our tag. The line was super short to my amazement. We received our tag in exchange for a coupon and some loot and with tag and ribbon in hand we set off to hunt down our pine.
The weather could not have been more perfect. It was just chilly enough for me to state that I should have worn a warmer shirt and gloves but warm enough for me to enjoy a light vest. Gregg asked if I was going to take my sunglasses off and I was curious about that. We were outside. It was bright out. I could see the trees just fine. Does he hate my sunglasses? What gives? It's not like we are in the grocery store and I have them on while carrying my dumb, tiny dog in a $5400 bag. Hmm. (Okay, I will admit that I occasionally keep them on when shopping simply because it is comfortable and I feel like I am undercover). Anyway, we walked through various fields of trees joining the other hunters in saying "how 'bout this one?" twenty times over. I wondered if trees could think would they be pissed about the repetition. I know I would. We found a bunch of great looking possibilities but they were either too short, too tall, too bare, too full, too skinny, too fat or just friggin' dead. Some even had spiders in them. Instant no-no.
Finally though, we did find our 2009 champion. Persistence pays off. Gotta keep a sharp eye out and really visit each row, sometimes twice. Gregg tied the tag onto our extremely sharp-needled, painful tree and we headed back to the hut to record our field and row number.
I contemplated entering the coloring contest but ultimately decided against it. Satisfied with our selection, we drove away smiling. Actually, I think we were laughing at a conversation we overheard in the parking lot... but either way - it was a great experience as always.
Every year, usually on opening day, Gregg and I trek out to Leyden's Tree Farm to tag our one-of-a-kind Christmas Tree. They opened this past Saturday and we continued our tradition. I sort of cornball it up by shuffling a playlist on my ipod of holiday favorites while we take the twenty minute ride. When we come to the driveway I always laugh at the sign because it says "Big John's" and for some reason I find that hilarious. We pull into the lot and find our parking space. This time Gregg accidentally hit my elbow with the door of the Jeep so that made for a memorable entrance as I flailed around laughing at the top of my lungs. Like I have mentioned before, graceful and elegant, I am not. We walked past the Tim Horton's trailer and I, of course, remarked "mmmm coffeeeee" while Gregg said "I want a coolata" ... random. We made our way to the little hut o' farm employees for our tag. The line was super short to my amazement. We received our tag in exchange for a coupon and some loot and with tag and ribbon in hand we set off to hunt down our pine.
The weather could not have been more perfect. It was just chilly enough for me to state that I should have worn a warmer shirt and gloves but warm enough for me to enjoy a light vest. Gregg asked if I was going to take my sunglasses off and I was curious about that. We were outside. It was bright out. I could see the trees just fine. Does he hate my sunglasses? What gives? It's not like we are in the grocery store and I have them on while carrying my dumb, tiny dog in a $5400 bag. Hmm. (Okay, I will admit that I occasionally keep them on when shopping simply because it is comfortable and I feel like I am undercover). Anyway, we walked through various fields of trees joining the other hunters in saying "how 'bout this one?" twenty times over. I wondered if trees could think would they be pissed about the repetition. I know I would. We found a bunch of great looking possibilities but they were either too short, too tall, too bare, too full, too skinny, too fat or just friggin' dead. Some even had spiders in them. Instant no-no.
I contemplated entering the coloring contest but ultimately decided against it. Satisfied with our selection, we drove away smiling. Actually, I think we were laughing at a conversation we overheard in the parking lot... but either way - it was a great experience as always.
there's a first time for everything ...
I would just like to quickly recap a few recent happenings that haven't happened before (to me, anyway).
1. Saturday afternoon Gregg and I took a ride to HomeGoods and in the parking lot we heard an interesting conversation. "Did you just fart?" was the real attention grabber here. Said, quite loudly, by a middle-aged mother strapping her child into the back seat of a mini-van. Gregg and I continued our walk to the door trying not to break our conversation until we were far enough away that we could laugh our asses off. Because yes, we are mentally still 8 years old a lot of times.
2. I was lucky enough to dine out with Gregg, enjoying calamari, filet mignon, crab cakes and dessert, all for the low price of $9.00. Clearly we had a gift card and only had to add money in for the tip BUT still... when did you ever have a delicious meal of that caliber for nine bucks?
3. We turned the living room into a bedroom and watched Christmas movies. This, I think is my favorite. I asked Gregg if we could blow up the air mattress and put it in the middle of the living room and he said SURE. Who's gonna turn down the option to lay in comfy makeshift bed while watching the "big TV" ?? We put sheets and a big, down comforter on it, threw our bulky pillows up top and climbed in like little kids. Brody, of course, got into the action - eating his bone on my shin. All in all, though, it was fun.
4. I took Gregg's Jeep in for an oil change yesterday. As usual there were a couple of people in the waiting area along with the dirty community toys (vomit), water cooler, m&m dispenser and roughly forty newspapers and magazines to thumb through. Obviously I brought my own magazine and sat with the rest. The typical "funny videos" show was on the TV and I didn't realize how good I had it until the Wendy Williams talk show came on. Holy mackerel ... just google it or watch it one day. I was livid. Just as I was about to hurl myself through the tire-covered, plate glass window, an older man walked in with his PUPPY!!! He sat down next to me and we had a lovely conversation about our dogs while I continued to pet the good girl until my name was called.
And there you have my random first occurrences ...
1. Saturday afternoon Gregg and I took a ride to HomeGoods and in the parking lot we heard an interesting conversation. "Did you just fart?" was the real attention grabber here. Said, quite loudly, by a middle-aged mother strapping her child into the back seat of a mini-van. Gregg and I continued our walk to the door trying not to break our conversation until we were far enough away that we could laugh our asses off. Because yes, we are mentally still 8 years old a lot of times.
2. I was lucky enough to dine out with Gregg, enjoying calamari, filet mignon, crab cakes and dessert, all for the low price of $9.00. Clearly we had a gift card and only had to add money in for the tip BUT still... when did you ever have a delicious meal of that caliber for nine bucks?
3. We turned the living room into a bedroom and watched Christmas movies. This, I think is my favorite. I asked Gregg if we could blow up the air mattress and put it in the middle of the living room and he said SURE. Who's gonna turn down the option to lay in comfy makeshift bed while watching the "big TV" ?? We put sheets and a big, down comforter on it, threw our bulky pillows up top and climbed in like little kids. Brody, of course, got into the action - eating his bone on my shin. All in all, though, it was fun.
4. I took Gregg's Jeep in for an oil change yesterday. As usual there were a couple of people in the waiting area along with the dirty community toys (vomit), water cooler, m&m dispenser and roughly forty newspapers and magazines to thumb through. Obviously I brought my own magazine and sat with the rest. The typical "funny videos" show was on the TV and I didn't realize how good I had it until the Wendy Williams talk show came on. Holy mackerel ... just google it or watch it one day. I was livid. Just as I was about to hurl myself through the tire-covered, plate glass window, an older man walked in with his PUPPY!!! He sat down next to me and we had a lovely conversation about our dogs while I continued to pet the good girl until my name was called.
And there you have my random first occurrences ...
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