Here we go again. The waitress dream. After 9 years I still have nightmares about that horrible job.
The dreams are always similar. Last nights: I couldn't remember my number in the computer. I didn't know how to make coffee. I had absolutely no clue what kind of food we offered. All of the chairs in my section were tiny chairs and people were sitting in them and not reaching the table. A woman was furiously yelling at me about her tiny chair and I replied, "LADY why didn't you simply ask me to get you a normal chair? Why are you trying to be a martyr here?" Someone actually found my old apron and it was still stocked- with my lip gloss and everything... but my notepad was out of paper. I had a million tables waiting for me and I was in the wrong part of the restaurant. Nobody was nice to me. All of the girls were awful and wore too much makeup and super tight pants. (Trying to ensure a 3 month relationship with one of the cooks- no doubt.)
I hated that job. HATED. THAT. JOB.
I remember one instance... an elderly couple were dining on hamburgers. How grand. Now, I love elderly people and I am very respectful but I will never forget this crotchety old bastard. He orders a burger with onion so that is what he gets. Just seconds later he grabs my sleeve and says, "What is this? I ordered onions!" I, still in my mind reacting to the grabbing of the sleeve and thinking about what I would say to him if he wasn't 97 years old, reply, "Yes, those are onions on top of your burger". He says, "You're stupid!! You don't know what you're talking about!" I then said, " I'M STUPID??? I'MMMMM STUPID?? You're looking at onions telling me you don't have onions!!" I walk away before this gets any more embarrassing and ask my manager to go fix his lunch. The big mix up was that he wanted his onions grilled. Well WHATDAYA know??? A simple adjective was to blame. Onions = raw onions. Gotta add that adjective in there, guy. So needless to say - my patience failed, the manager smoothed it over and that was that.
I lived to fight another day. One where I waited on a group of 15 women. The amount of hot tea with lemon and milk was disturbing. The few who didn't order tea chose to create their own lemonade with water, lemon and sweet & low. I assured them that we had lemonade prepared but they took the free road. I had never seen so many orders of scrod. It was overwhelming at 11:40 am. After two and a half hours and a bill of nearly $180 (yes, that's right, 15 people eating for $180- that's the Chelo's way) the women were ready to pay their tab. Calculators EVERYWHERE. It had to have taken over 30 minutes to figure out who owed what. I stood nearby, smoking like a fiend, anxious to get the hell out of there. Finally they were ready to plaster on their shawls and head out into their Mercurys and Buicks. A woman came up to me with the money - the book felt very thick. She said to me, "Thank you so much for all of your help, you were WONDERFUL!" with a pleasant smile on her face. I thanked her and slipped away to count the bread. They left me change. As I poured the change onto a table my blood boiled feverishly. I decided to meet her in the foyer. "Excuse me," I said, getting her attention, "I already have this whole pouch full of change so here you go, you can keep this" and I poured the change back into her hands. "Oh thank you so much!" she said- having absolutely no idea what sarcasm was and feeling as though I was a gracious gal.
I clearly am not cut out to be a server of any kind. I have a very hard time accepting the words of douchebags or the pennies of the innocent and elderly. I am proud, stubborn and sarcastic as hell - and I cannot fake pleasantness. If I hate you, it's gonna be pretty obvious.
May 12, 2010
what the f ??
Spring 2010. The second glorious week of the lovely May month has begun and all are anxious to celebrate it. Everyone is scrambling to get to kids birthday parties, Mothers Day outings and other various milestone occasions. The weather is seasonably beautiful- just right for hiking, biking, yard work or just plain ol' house-cleaning with the windows wide open. So what went wrong? How did this sunny dreamworld turn into a cloud of shit? And how did that cloud of shit turn into an epiphany? I'll tell you how.
Upon returning home from an enjoyable Mothers Day in Mystic-shopping with my mom- I received a horrible phone call. A very dear friend of mine had lost someone very close to him just hours earlier. I spent quite a while on the phone with the bearer of the tragic news and we expressed our sadness for our mutual and practically life-long friend. I truly couldn't fathom what he and his poor family would now have to endure. It seemed surreal and I could not get it off my mind. This feeling followed me into my sleep and materialized into several uncomfortable dreams. I woke up reminded and could not fully focus on my responsibilities. It wasn't as though I knew the deceased well- in fact I hadn't seen him in over 10 years. But we all grew up together. In our little school, in our little neighborhood. And he was always kind to me. My heart was heavy for my friend. Knowing what a sincere and good-hearted person he is just made it harder to accept that he was hurting and will be for quite some time. All I could do was express my sympathy and love. It is all anyone can do, really.
I went to work that day and kept to myself more so than usual. Headphones on, minimal conversation, mind focused half on work and half on my friend. And just seven short hours into the workday I was given the old heave-ho for the second year in a row. Laid off due to lack of work. I wasn't entirely shocked - although I was stunned that this would be my last day- my last HOUR in fact. I took the news easily, packed up my colorful desk decorations and after loading that crate into my car I was driving off into the sunset. Well, not really, it was only 5 o'clock so I guess I added that in for dramatic purposes. I wasn't upset. I wasn't pissed off. I didn't really feel sorry for myself. I couldn't compare my unfortunate situation to what my friend was going through. When you put things into perspective that way it is a LOT easier to deal with anything that comes at you. Sure my situation blows. And will certainly blow even harder if I am unable to collect unemployment insurance. We have a high mortgage, we have tons of bills, my car is starting to shit the bed, we aren't exactly living in the lap of luxury here - BUT we are living. We are happy, we are healthy and we have our friends and family near. What more can you really ask for?
Yes, I loved that job. Yes, this week has been a little on the difficult side. I am disappointed in the way that things worked out - for sure - but I have polished up my old outlook. And I feel almost guilty for attaining its shine through my friend's tragic circumstances. "It can always be worse" - just remember that every time you think you got a raw deal.
Someone else is always struggling harder. Keep that thought fresh.
Upon returning home from an enjoyable Mothers Day in Mystic-shopping with my mom- I received a horrible phone call. A very dear friend of mine had lost someone very close to him just hours earlier. I spent quite a while on the phone with the bearer of the tragic news and we expressed our sadness for our mutual and practically life-long friend. I truly couldn't fathom what he and his poor family would now have to endure. It seemed surreal and I could not get it off my mind. This feeling followed me into my sleep and materialized into several uncomfortable dreams. I woke up reminded and could not fully focus on my responsibilities. It wasn't as though I knew the deceased well- in fact I hadn't seen him in over 10 years. But we all grew up together. In our little school, in our little neighborhood. And he was always kind to me. My heart was heavy for my friend. Knowing what a sincere and good-hearted person he is just made it harder to accept that he was hurting and will be for quite some time. All I could do was express my sympathy and love. It is all anyone can do, really.
I went to work that day and kept to myself more so than usual. Headphones on, minimal conversation, mind focused half on work and half on my friend. And just seven short hours into the workday I was given the old heave-ho for the second year in a row. Laid off due to lack of work. I wasn't entirely shocked - although I was stunned that this would be my last day- my last HOUR in fact. I took the news easily, packed up my colorful desk decorations and after loading that crate into my car I was driving off into the sunset. Well, not really, it was only 5 o'clock so I guess I added that in for dramatic purposes. I wasn't upset. I wasn't pissed off. I didn't really feel sorry for myself. I couldn't compare my unfortunate situation to what my friend was going through. When you put things into perspective that way it is a LOT easier to deal with anything that comes at you. Sure my situation blows. And will certainly blow even harder if I am unable to collect unemployment insurance. We have a high mortgage, we have tons of bills, my car is starting to shit the bed, we aren't exactly living in the lap of luxury here - BUT we are living. We are happy, we are healthy and we have our friends and family near. What more can you really ask for?
Yes, I loved that job. Yes, this week has been a little on the difficult side. I am disappointed in the way that things worked out - for sure - but I have polished up my old outlook. And I feel almost guilty for attaining its shine through my friend's tragic circumstances. "It can always be worse" - just remember that every time you think you got a raw deal.
Someone else is always struggling harder. Keep that thought fresh.
May 6, 2010
about 6 to 6...
a blurry little black and white tour...
... up
... a little hygiene never killed anyone, did it?
... superfast. that's right.
... gotta feed the boy
... and a smiley breakfast for me, thanks
... finished product ready to punch-in
... patiently awaiting his first outdoor trip of the day
... and now enjoying that moment
... me, enjoying MY moment
... can't forget to make up for all the things you lack
... slap on a little plaster
... and a little paint
... hit the ol' ATM
... teeny weeny commute
... almost therrrrrrre
... my area for 8 hrs
... and a little errand after work
AND THERE YOU HAVE IT. a grand tour of a typical 12 hours of my weekday life. yeah, i left a few things out. i do have my secrets. plus it is extremely annoying to have to pull out the camera to document ridiculousness. just thought i'd give it a try for a day - as you can see i only lasted 12 hours.
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