October 7, 2013

get it out of here!!

As I sit here on my couch (because my recliner is nearly nine years old and finally so busted that it actually hurts my ass to sit in it) I am looking at my home in a different way. So used to seeing the rooms from a different angle I'm now horrified at what is staring me in the face on 'the other side'. Mainly the hideously ornate glass and brass embellished ceiling fan hanging over the dining room. Holy mackerel. I mean, I've hated it from day one but seeing it from this seat makes me loathe it on a entirely new level. Talk about an eyesore. I might as well have a Rosie O'Donnell wax dummy hanging in the center of the room. Not to mention I can't remember the last time I washed those glass globes or whatever they're called. Vomit city. I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it. Among this monstrosity are cute ghost and pumpkin decorations, a thriving spider plant on a pedestal, my favorite piece of furniture - a hand-carved jelly cabinet adorned with chili peppers, three framed artworks from my sweet Scarlett and a clean, clutter-free space. I want that tacky misfit OUT!

I guess we will add that to the list of ceiling fans we need to buy for this house.

1. The kitchen replacement. Two of the lights on that one have blown out in haunting ways making me believe that the wiring is dangerous and we need to get it the hell out of there.

2. Scarlett's room replacement. I don't know who the frig designed that fan but it was clearly made for a high school locker. It is tiny. We can never tell if it's on low or high or off. Friggin thing is useless.

3. Playroom/office replacement. See number two.

4. Dining room atrocity.

There, I've added it. We will officially be replacing that ugly beast. One by one we'll be cooling our brow in style. Oh, it's probably gonna be a while but I've noted it and that's the important thing.
(Now accepting Lowe's gift cards).

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