March 21, 2013

it's a snail's pace homicide!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!! Join me in getting pissed off about our mattresses for a sec, won't you? I am of course assuming that you have sleep issues due to an out-of-shape mattress past its prime. Even if it's your pillow that is causing you strife (because I'm with you on that one as well) let out your 'argh'. It's well-deserved.

I've HAD IT!!

Our mattress is slowly murdering me.

Well, Us. It's slowly murdering Us. Gregg and I have been complaining for years about our stupid, dummy jerk mattress. We haven't bought a new one for a very stupid reason: it's not that old! We bought it in late 2008 (I think). But it's a king. And it was super expensive. And it should last us until we are ninety-seven. Or so I thought in my naive, little mind. Just shortly after we bought it - the "ditches" showed up. I KNOW I should have called and exchanged it. I know!!!!! Ugh. But I didn't. So here we are. And after four years of buying pillow after pillow pretending that was the problem - it has become quite clear that we need to take action.

I miss the old mattresses - ya know the ones you could flip over AND rotate. This one goes counter-clockwise on our box spring about twice a month these days. It doesn't matter. At the end of the day no matter which end is up we are each in a ditch made initially by one of us, made worse by both of us a million times. We recently decided we'll go look for one of those foam toppers. Like the four inch thick ones that look heavenly/cloud-like. However, for the past two weeks I have been in agony. Tossing and turning allllllllllllll night. My hips and back just screaming. I've shifted into every position possible and tried different pillow combinations... and let me tell ya, none of my pillows are saving the day either. So now I'm siding with Gregg - we HAVE to get a new mattress. And I'm not falling for that 'buy the frame and box spring and pillows and mustache wax' deal. I want a GREAT mattress and nothing else. So help me God if we get that slimy salesman with the shiny tooth who thinks he's got one on the line. I'll shove that line right up his ugly suit-wearing bum I will.

Wish us luck, friends! 'Luxurious night's sleep' blog post soon to follow...


  1. Let me know when you find one as I'm in desperate need too!

    1. I will! As soon as that tax refund is in we are heading to grab one!


Got something to add? Leave me a comment...