February 15, 2012

You don't want a photo of this ...

He walks into the kitchen and I'm standing over a boiling soup pot with the baby's blanket over my head.

That's how Gregg's morning started. Mine went something like this...

I finallllyyyyyy got the baby to sleep at midnight (after going to bed at 9:30 thinking foolishly that she was asleep for the night). I crawled into bed, so tired from not sleeping well for four nights due to Scarlett's cold and my own. Immediately I started choking and coughing. My sinuses were so jacked up I couldn't breathe at ALL. Like, not just a stuffed nostril, I'm talkin' when I breathed in I gagged because there was nowhere for the air to go. It was HEINOUS. My throat was all raw due to the sexy post nasal drip I've been dealing with and the Halls cough drops that apparently strip whatever layer is left in there. I was up and down at least seven times, blowing my nose and trying to free up some room to breathe. No luck. I decided to try the steam method. I ran scalding hot water from my shower while I sat uncomfortably in my hideous robe. The steam was successful at fogging up the mirror and pictures on the wall but didn't do a lick of good for my clogged head. It also succeeded in making me freezing cold when I exited the bathroom back into the normal temperature of 72. I decided to stay up.

 I flipped on the television. Family Ties was on. I passed a half hour watching that simple, innocent little show whilst sipping a most god-awful cup of tea. I LOATHE TEA. With all my heart and soul. You can always tell that I am truly sick when you see me with a nasty cup of tea. It did nothing to clear my sinuses but felt nice on my shredded throat. Next I tried the famously hot "cinnamon fire balls". Sure, I've had the jar as a decoration for at least five years but do things like that really expire? I couldn't have cared less. The vapors helped a teeny bit to allow for a pinhole airway to open up. Although it re-burned the shit out of my throat. I'll TAKE IT! I thought. But within ten minutes that airway was no longer open for business. I resorted to checking the internet for at-home remedies for decongestants. Cut an onion in half you say? Why not? The onion may as well have been a jelly bean. I couldn't smell a friggin thing. Since I normally have meds on hand I don't keep peppermint or oregano oils just laying around for times like these. I don't even have a lemon. I tried the shower again - to no avail. I was missssssssssssssssssssssssssserable!!!!! Alternating between Vicks and Vaseline on my poor nostrils did no good because I was blowing my nose every two minutes. My eyes began leaking because my sinuses were apparently overflowing. I was one hot second away from crying - I thought that may even help! I figured I might as well boil some water and stick my head in it. (You know what I mean). It was now 4 am. I knew I wasn't going back to bed. I had that one little drip that would creep down just as I would doze off each and every time. Screw it. I finished my pot / baby blanket combo and watched more television. Portlandia to be exact. Hilarious by the way. I may have been comatose at that point.

Gregg debated whether to stay home so he could take care of the baby but we decided he should go to work. (Bad decision ultimately). I did go back to bed ... at 5:30 am and slept from 5:45 - 6:30. Whoa. Did I feel rested when I woke up! (No). I immediately hopped in the shower because my chest felt like I had swallowed a ninety pound bag of coal during my nap. More miserable. The shower (again) did nothing to clear my head. So what could I do? I called my mom. She came to my rescue at 9 am with drugs and soft tissues. Thank God. The drugs haven't really done much but I can sort of breathe without making a scene. So I guess that's progress. I have had another cup of the devil tea. I also drank two large cups of coffee which felt great. I am going to have my DELICIOUS homemade chicken soup for lunch and dinner today. And I pray that this little baby doll takes a three hour nap this afternoon so I can join her. I hate to complain when I don't feel well because we all go through it and nobody really cares to hear the stories. But I'm a blogger ya know? You're gonna be subject to my torture posts as I see fit.

I really hope you're all healthy as can be as you read this!! xo

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