January 19, 2010

... things that i have come to notice ...

1. It is always better to get something off your chest... even if it is only a crumb from delicious veggie pizza.

2. Winona Ryder sure can make smoking a cigarette seem like an elegantly awesome idea. 

3. It seems like they will never actually figure out exactly what happened to Titanic the night it met its demise.

4. If you're drunk on red wine and singing 80's music into a ladle chances are you're cheering someone up and pissing someone off.

5. If you accept a piece of furniture into your home from a friend - the room that you place it in isn't going to smell the same way for quite some time.

6. The unemployment office could stand to hire a few hundred souls.

7. You don't really need that paper tray that comes with your printer. So don't be upset when you break it off of every printer that you should ever stumble upon.

8. The word "dreamboat" is hilarious and yet had such a short life span. I'm going to work on that resurrection.

9. I hit the pillow and my mind races for at least one hour. Gregg hits his pillow and is asleep within 5 minutes. Maybe I should secretly switch pillows.

10. The people living in this cul-de-sac either have no smile muscles or simply hate me.

11. Benny's should have a "women will hate this place" sign on the door. They all just feel haunted to me.

12. If I was in the movie "Alive" let's face it ... Nando would have set me on fire.

13. Superstitions and urban legends just make things interesting. Who cares if they are ridiculous... I want to make some up so I can become part of the old wives tale-telling business. 

14. Michael Myers' scariness is based on how awesome his mask looks in each film. For instance, I could be playing hopscotch with him in 4 & 5 but would bury myself alive to hide from him in the original or Zombie's version.

15. Crunch & Munch seems to always be on sale for $1.00 lately. Did someone screw up at the factory in November??

16. Kat Von D's book was pretty great. She really is as cool as you think she is... only a thousand times more rad.

17. There aren't nearly enough pirate ships being manufactured these days. Why is that? If I was a billionaire I would have one rather than a yacht.


  1. frodobloggins (gabe)January 20, 2010 at 9:52 AM

    I was always convinced that if you shoplifted from ben franklins that you would actuallt be, "shot".

  2. hahaha don't worry, babe - your pillow is safe. brody lays on it all the time anyway and i don't want his ass hair near my precious face.

    frodobloggins made me DIE and i can't believe you said "ben franklins" ... my mom used to work there... and i think they did shoot a couple of shoplifters (i'll show you the scar next time i see you)

  3. the people in the cul de sac hate you .

    E N T E M A N N S

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. hahahahaaaaa entenmens!! i forgot all about that. hilarious.

  6. I feel the very same way about "Benny's".

    I scratch my head every time I walk in.....something just always seems eerie to me once I set foot in there?

    And why are they're ALWAYS soooo many bikes on sale when you walk in? I mean, really.


Got something to add? Leave me a comment...