February 4, 2010

"oh it's night night time again... you're getting tired..."

Try to get sleepy Try to get sleepy Try to get sleepy... ... stop playing Scrabble and Battleship on PS3 ...  hmmm perhaps reading will help ... shut the lights off ... let the dimness set in  ... 

This is my nightly mantra. I can't seem to get sleepy lately. Granted, I am unemployed and my days aren't exactly filled with hard labor. Or much easy labor for that matter. And I don't have any children to wear me out. I wake up in the morning between 8 and 9 on the regular. I wouldn't mind getting up at 7, if only I could fall asleep before 1 or 2 a.m. 

 Normally, I shoot for the sheets around 10:30/11. Unsleepy, I lay there flopping back and forth like a pissed-off flounder. Seems like everything I have ever given thought to in my lifetime just forces itself past the dam in my mind...

What is that friggin clicking issue with our TV? I'll have to see if it's under warranty. But, wait, we bought it at Circuit City. Crap. They are out of business. Hmm do they honor their warranties still? Gotta make a note to find out. And what about that water stain on the living room ceiling?? I know that's not going to go away. Where could the leak be coming from? The gutter? The roof? I think we have extra shingles. I don't want to get on the roof and figure it out. I can't fix that shit. How can I afford to fix it otherwise? Hmm maybe with the tax refund. Wait, we probably won't even get a refund because of my unemployment. Well that figures. We wait all year for a TINY bit of relief and we won't even get it. Or how do I know that? Am I working myself up over nothing? Probably. Which reminds me, Gregg hasn't received his W-2 yet. Where could that thing be? OH I should probably set my alarm for the morning. Don't want to oversleep and leave Kim stranded at the airport... 

These are just a few things that ran through my mind last night. Followed by thoughts of: things to add to my resum√©, a job that I was told about that I would very much love to have but am not quite sure about qualifications or length of term, getting a new wardrobe when I DO find a job, how desperately we need groceries and dog food, how awesome it would be if we won powerball and I could call Gregg while he is at work and let him know... and the list goes on and on. 

I am clearly awake all day. I think of these things, I research and work on some of them, I make lists and notes all the time of things to do and things we need. I can't quite understand why everything just feels so unfinished the second I hit the pillow. But, at least when I do fall asleep I can usually stay that way for 6 or 7 hours. A few interruptions here and there, but for the most part I feel rested each morning. Which, I guess is all that really matters. I just wish I could give my speed-racer mind some molasses.

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