October 31, 2009

boo ...

I say that Halloween is one of my two favorite days of the year (the other being Christmas Eve) but I am realizing there is no good reason.

It's not the trick-or-treating, because I stopped that in 6th grade. It's not the candy, because I can get Mounds any day of the year. It's not the ritual of opening the front door to Transformers, witches and 16 year old jerks wearing hoodies and carrying pillowcases, because my doorbell is broken, my dog is a pain in the ass and I shut my lights off for the only two groups of kids who actually come here. I guess what I love is horror films and Halloween decorations. For some reason I plaster my home with ghosts and pumpkins and witches and little, spooky Halloween signs ...  I just think it's "cute".

Does this make me a Halloween grinch?? Don't get me wrong, I love to see the kids dressed up and I, of course, remember my excitement as a child. But I guess something was lost along the way to my 32 year old mentality. Still, each year, I pop in the Garfield Halloween DVD and watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. And I don't feel that I have yet overdosed on Michael Myers, Jason, Dracula or Leatherface.

So, what the hell am I saying here? I guess just that I love coconut, cartoons, serial killers and HomeGoods.

October 30, 2009

it'$ okay...

So how come every time things take a turn for the worse, financially, I convince myself to buy scratch tickets?? Does this seem highly irrational to anyone else? I assume it is my panic defense mechanism. Well sure we don't have enough money to buy Christmas gifts for 20 people, cross Brody's vet visit off the list or fix the furnace BUT maybe this twenty bucks could win us millions instead of buying us more turkey sandwiches... Apparently this is my thought process.

Over and over again I find myself sitting at the dining room table with a pen, calculator, notepad, stack of bills and bottle of red wine just trying to make sense of my life. Okay, so I don't always use a calculator. Kidding, I take care of my finances without the use of alcohol, thank you. I prepare a new budget several times a year (when the scary occasion calls for it). I know how much money is coming in and the amount designated to every conceivable genre of expense yet SOMEHOW I manage to blow past that boundary time and time again. I read all of the silly articles about 'the best way to manage your money' - which, by the way, all contradict each other. I constantly try new systems and stay on top of our accounts daily but, again, Faily McBrokepants.

I have come to realize that MOST of the living world (and some of the dead) have debt. I have also come to realize that this is a constant in life and beating myself up over it will do no good.  I learned that: pretty much everyone in my life lives paycheck to paycheck, going to a movie and out to dinner is becoming a thing of the past, we are lucky as hell to have two paid off cars that are in great condition and that it could ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be so much worse.

So for anyone who is stressing over car repairs and rent and mortgages and groceries and clothing and the holidays - know that you are in GREAT company. The world suffers with you. Reality is not Hollywood. Maybe if they stopped making all of these ridiculous reality TV shows, we could get back to feeling comfortable about our own lives and stop giving a shit about theirs.

October 28, 2009

japanese fern, ayyyy???

Yeah so ... As you probably haven't noticed, I haven't been too busy blogging my head off lately. I have been preoccupied with the aforementioned beautiful wedding and painting my stinkin' dining room and kitchen. Now, I must say, I move QUICK. And I do a pretty decent job. A few of my friends have requested photos... here you go, my darlings ...

from a Mullen to a Fielding...

It is so seldom that we are in the presence of real, live, true love. I am lucky enough to have encountered it numerous times in the past couple of years.

One of my bestestest friends, Monica, was married this past weekend to her soul-mate, Gabe. I have known Monica since second grade. She was the "quiet one" who sort of sat back and did her own thing. She has a heart of gold and sometimes when I look at her I can still see the nine year old girl behind that smile. We grew up together, hung out all the time and went through our phases, stages and situations by each others side. At times, I felt like a piece of furniture in the Mullen home. Gabe is Monica's brother's best friend. He is one of the most genuinely awesome people I have ever met. I always had respect for him, growing up. His personality is amazing, he is very sweet and kind .... and a big goofball. Match made in heaven, right? Well, this match took FOREVER to make. Even though they had known each other since they were kids, Monica and Gabe just took their friendship to another level a couple of years ago.

After high school, her brothers both moved out to Colorado and a few years later, Monica followed. And Gabe did as well. They became even better friends and, out of the blue, both realized that they needed to be in a relationship together. I was THRILLED when I heard the news, as I had always wanted them to get together. When Monica came home to visit, for the first time since her new love, her smile was SO wide. I had never ever seen her beaming like that. And I will never forget it. We talked about how happy she was and I felt an amazing amount of actual JOY. I don't know if you really know what "joy" feels like - I don't think I did until that day. So you can imagine my excitement when I heard the news of her engagement. This had been 25 years in the making (in my mind).

Seeing Monica and Gabe together for the first time was surreal. His love for her was undeniable. It was beyond sweet - it was newlyweds before their time. My friends and I had to call each other and gossip about how adorable their visit was. Pulling out the chair. Holding hands. Constant smiles and kisses. Pet names. This might sound corny and annoying as hell to you, but I assure you - it was beautiful.

Being able to not only witness but to be a part of their wedding meant the world to me. The ceremony was absolutely beautiful. Their genuine grins were permanent. Watching them speak their vows, exchange rings and dance their first dance as husband and wife was pretty much magical. And the entire time I felt as though I was rooting for my favorite team, waving a giant banner that read "Go Monica and Gabe!!" (Possible foam finger as well).

I wish for everyone to be happy, but for some reason, I almost wish it MORE for these two love birds. I hope they are enjoying their honeymoon as I write this. Congratulations, once again, Monica and Gabe Fielding. I love you guys.

October 22, 2009

i'm more of a "worry tumor" ...

It might be in bad taste to use the word "tumor" to describe myself. Some people are worry warts ... I take that to an extreme level and, from there, catapult it into another dimension. I am not like this at ALL times but let's go with MOST times. I will run down a couple of examples for you as told by my mind:

...What am I wearing for the bachelorette party? How should I wear my hair? Is the weather gonna be shitty? It IS gonna be shitty. I can't wear the suede boots. But it's gonna be cold!!! Those have fur in them, they would keep me warm. Maybe too warm. Don't wanna be sweating. Okay black heels. But the comfortable ones. Those aren't high enough. Shit. Now I can't wear the jeans I wanted to wear. So what jeans now? Everything drags on the floor except those. But I don't like "the butt" on those. Hmm now I have to change the shirt that I picked out to cover some of "the butt". So there goes that necklace I was gonna wear. And I have to change the pocketbook as well. It's POURING - do I need to bring an umbrella?? Yes. I will bring the umbrella. Where will I leave it? Oh I can just leave it in the limo. What if I forget to take it home? Ah who cares, it's just an umbrella that I don't ever use and feel ridiculous carrying...

...Have to pick up the gown on Thursday. Should I try it on one more time to make sure it's okay? But it's already steamed, don't wanna wrinkle it up. But it's gonna get wrinkled anyway when I sit in the car on Saturday. What if it needs to be fixed and I don't try it on?? Then I won't know until Saturday morning which is too late. Okay I will try it on when I bring it home. My stomach looks so fat in it. But I already looked for "undergarments" to no avail. I have a couple of options, if those don't work, screw it. Nothing I can do about it now. Should I wrap an ace bandage around my body? Does that actually work? I am eating asparagus twice every day this week to lose my water weight. Oh my god I am pms-ing and miserable and super tired. What if I have to spend the wedding day in the bathroom every two hours with my silver pouch full of tampons??? What if I can't find a bathroom when we go to take pictures?? Everyone will think I have the runs!!! Holy Mackerel. I have to get my period by Thursday or I am screwed. OR SUNDAY. That would be even BETTER! Okay Sunday, pray for Sunday. Shit. This means I will be extra bloated too. Great more stomach issues. What if the dress doesn't fit at all? What if I look like a snowman?? Wait, I can hide the stomach with the bouquet when I walk up the aisle. But what about the reception all night? Gotta suck it in as best I can...

This is just a mere hour of my worry. When I have something on my mind - I race through horrible "what-if's" like a kid through a hot fudge, creepy clown sundae. Most of it is for nothing. A lot of the scenarios I create in my head never come to light. I know deep down that worrying helps nothing and may or may not be the cause of these sexy crows feet that seemed to crop up last weekend. I guess it is part of my chemical makeup and not much I can do about it. Just be glad it doesn't ALWAYS come out of my mouth... my mind deals with most of the chaotic nonsense all on it's own. :) You're welcome. 

October 18, 2009

chevy chase won the race ...

Well, the results of our last poll are in and I am in full agreement with the winner. Chevy Chase took first in "who makes you laugh the hardest?" Tied for second is Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn, third place is Bill Murray and sliding in last is another tie with Tom Hanks and Jim Carrey. (Don't feel bad, Tom, I sure do love you in The Burbs and The Money Pit).

As a tribute to our voters, and Chevy Chase lovers in general, here are some of my favorite treats, enjoy... 








Boy have I been busy! Can't believe I haven't written in such a while. I thought of it last night and actually felt "out of the loop". I'll catch up quickly...

Months ago Gregg and I decided that we really missed our old apartment's apple green kitchen. Our accessories went so well with it and it was such a nice, crisp color. Well, we made the change last week. I started on Wednesday at noon and finished last night at 8 p.m. Spending 5-7 hours a day painting was actually way more enjoyable then I had imagined. I dreaded getting started but once I had everything laid out on the table there was no stoppin' me! I realized quickly that it would be completely impossible for me to paint anything without blasting 80's music. (Told ya I was on a bender... you think I was kidding??) The backache and quad soreness went away before noon everyday and so I started up again by 1 o'clock. One coat of primer and about three coats of paint took our Orange Inferno to Japanese Fern. We are thrilled with the outcome. It's so hard to choose the color that you have in your head when staring at 40 shades in that family. At the paint counter in Home Depot we were settled on a color and all of a sudden I ran back to the swatches and picked another - thankfully I did because it looks great. While we loved our old orange dining room - we welcome the green phase.



I am sure a lot of people will enjoy the "old" better as the "new" may be too vibrant. But we love it!

Next week I will green up the kitchen!!

October 13, 2009

billboard brody ??

Well, you asked for it (no you didn't) and it is finally here!! We were just waiting on Brody's completion of paw-writing lessons so he could sign the release. We are good to go! Just in time for the holidays... a unique compilation of your favorite 80's hits, remastered, Brody-style.

Enjoy such hits as:  

Doin' it all for my Brody
Broglasses at Night
Hazy Shade of Brody
Brody Jean
Every Bro has its Thorn
Wake me up before you Bro-Bro 
Brody's Girl 

and many, many more!!

This makes the perfect gift for the person who has everything!!

For $8.95 (plus $17.50 shipping and handling) this perfect addition to any party play-list can be yours! Contact me for further details.

Also, coming this spring, a crazy-magical mix of Destiny's Child covers including Brodylicious ...

October 12, 2009

look at this guy ...

Trying to keep a curious German Shepherd out of an enticing pile of wood is no easy task. It's actually an ongoing battle. This time, Gregg used super heavy duty wire fencing. Yes!!! Finally!!! Success!!!

Wait. Nope.

He is seriously sticking his tongue out at us. 

i do love food and drink ...

Nothing says 'friggin delicious' more than a piping hot serving of garlic, olive oil, roasted red peppers, artichoke hearts, garlic, black olives, basil, garlic, oregano, parsley, garlic, salt, pepper, Parmesan cheese, pasta, chicken and more garlic. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm .....

... and what do I love to wake up to ??

... That would be my slammin' cup of Maxwell House Master Blend with two splendas, a sprinkle of peppermint cocoa  and a drop of 1% milk. YUM.

So, why was I in a dog pen?

When faced with the question, "Hey, do you guys wanna come over for a fire?" I rarely respond with "hell no". So, when one of our favorite comedic couples recently invited us for one, I naturally accepted and anxiously awaited the play date. The merry duo consists of my good friend, Elisha, and her rad boyfriend, Chris. (That's ChrisTIAN, not ChrisTOPHER). They have the coziest home in Foster, where the dark woods help to create the perfect conditions for millions of glittery stars and the coyotes howl like the dickens. (I never actually heard a dickens howl... just always wanted to use the term).

Gregg and I tossed some extra hoodies in the backseat of the Jeep, programmed the G.P.S., threw an Incubus mix on the ipod, hit the liquor store and we were on our way. When we arrived there were barely six minutes of daylight left. So much for that walk in the woods I was looking forward to. Elisha mixed up some berry delicious vodka/rum drinks, we threw back a couple slices of Famous Pizza and our night was off to a fantastic start. While Chris and Gregg were outside building the fire, Elisha brought out a big box of fashion jewelry for me to rummage through. (Every now and then she gets some "extras" from work and brings them home so her friends can take advantage). And this is when it happened. Wedged between the mustard colored beads and the creepy 1800's style cameo - I saw IT. A magical blue star. But not JUST a magical blue star - it was a super duper magical blue star RING!!! And within seconds it would be mine. When everyone was finished making fun of me and my obnoxiously large and childish ring, we headed outside to claim our chairs for the night of tomfoolery ahead.

The fire was blazing, owls were hooting, coyotes were howling, we were cackling, bugs were making scary bug noises, drinks were being sipped and time was flying. Elisha and Chris dragged out some old fireworks and, my personal favorite, sparklers. We watched Chris light off a few that he promised "just sparkled" and laughed our asses off as one surprisingly shot about thirty feet up into the tree, clearing all branches and leaves in its path. Sparklers kept us busy for a while as we swirled them around and made our typical trails. You really can't have a shitty time while holding a sparkler. In fact, I dare you to prove me wrong.

* please note magical star ring *

Chris and I decided to take a walk in the woods. It was pitch black out there but he had a pretty ridiculous flash light and I was up for it. Actually, I wouldn't shut up about it all night. So, we started out into the darkness and within fifty seconds we heard the theme from Halloween, you know the Michael Myers music. This may have caught Chris off guard for a split second but it was just my cell phone ringing. Gregg was on the other end insisting that I get my ass back to the fire pronto. He didn't feel as confident as I did that the howling was very far away. So, back to the fire we marched to trade stories of coyotes, fisher cats, bobcats and moose.

Prop time. I decided that it was high time for a photo shoot and I required props for comedy. I knew they would thank me later. With a Smithwick's in hand, I grabbed the camera and headed to the patio - which was more than accommodating in the props department. Everyone found different items and made use of them. Gregg had the shiny, swinging ball, Elisha drank charcoal lighter fluid, Chris was equipped with his search lantern and I re-invented the wheel. We played that game for a while, taking random pictures of idiotic poses (me, eating bubbles and paint stirrers, Gregg climbing the walls, Elisha's sun face etc.). Once the props shoot was over we moved into the yard for more pictures.


Piling into the shed and old sauna we snapped shots of the scary, wooden dwellings and random objects inside. I was certain that there were millions of spiders hiding in there so we took the pictures quickly while the creepies were still hidden. And then someone said 'dog pen'. Across the yard was a decent sized dog pen that I guess gave me the perfect opportunity for my very first 'pen pictures'. Gregg took many of me in various jailed dog pen poses but due to camera issues only one came out.

<~~~~ This is that one. Clearly.

We lost a bunch of interesting shots that night because of that temper tantrum camera, but we are lucky to have the ones that we do. They will be forever reminders of just one of the many great times that we have had and WILL have together. Awww ... sappybloggins????

Thanks for adding to my awesome memories, guys!

October 11, 2009

annual festival hoopla...

Every year, on Columbus Day weekend, Scituate holds their Art Festival. It is very similar year after year but it is tradition... and I enjoy tradition. My mother and I normally take the ride together. We park in a lot for five bucks, to avoid any frustrating 'drain circling', and head to the tents. There are bands playing and tons of food vendors set up - the smells are overpoweringly delicious. A plethora of artists line both sides of the street with their paintings, prints, glass sculptures, antiques (my favorite), wood work, clothing, jewelry... crafts of all kinds. I pretty much never buy anything - but I don't go for the purchase, I go for the sights and smells. For a split second I debated buying a wind chime with little, glass strawberries hanging from it .. but seriously.. how is that a great investment??

One of the highlights of today's experience was running into my Godparents and my friend Amy and her family. You always seem to run into SOMEONE there and I couldn't be happier that this time - it was THEM. Another thing I enjoyed was viewing the insane amount of adorable dogs... I was actually overwhelmed. I barely looked at any crafts as I was too busy eye-balling the Great Dane and the countless ankle-biters in their festive, little sweaters. I kept catching myself saying "Ohhhhh, he's just a little babyyyyy!" "Look at himmmm!!" and pointing all over the place. My mother, on the other hand, was busy calling out the thousands of should-be-winners of the cutest baby ever contest.

I couldn't seem to keep track of how many Emo boys I saw wearing skinny jeans (thanks for the heads up on that, Chrilisha) or the countless pairs of Uggs scuffing the ground under the young ladies. We were outnumbered.

All in all it was a fantastic day. The weather was absolutely beautiful and couldn't have been more perfect. I can check this off of my 'Fall must-do's' list until next year.

October 10, 2009

welcome the hermit ...

'Tis the season for hermitization.

For those of you who know me well, you are expecting nothing less than a scarce Sheri in the upcoming months. As summer comes to a close I stick closer to home, enjoying chilled evenings with Gregg, watching movies, lighting the fireplace and donning awesomely over-sized, yet comfy-as-hell pajamas. I light a trillion candles and indulge in dessert that I shouldn't have regardless of the temperature. I tend to read more, magazines and books, and I often watch box sets of old TV shows like Roseanne and My So Called Life. Ohhh that Brian Crackow - will he ever be cool?? It's not only the coziness of home that I love but also taking scenic drives, visiting Belcourt Castle (my favorite), taking Brody for little "adventure hikes", walking aimlessly around Mystick Village and just spending quality time with Gregg. I don't ignore these favorites throughout the rest of the year but I look forward to them more in the chillier months.

So take no offense, friends. This explanation of my hibernation will give you peace of mind. You have done nothing to cause a "blow-off". This is my natural autumn instinct ... fear not. I'll be seeing you

October 9, 2009

let's discuss dress fittings ...

I'd like to take a quick minute, because the Yankees game is starting soon, to talk about my recent Bridal Shop experiences. In this case I am referring to my fittings for a bridesmaid's gown that I will be wearing in the highly anticipated Mullen-Fielding wedding on October 24th. Now, I have never looked good in a dress. Mainly because I have a big chest, no torso and I am short as hell. But I have been in several weddings - including my own - and I have always managed to pull it off (the look, not the dress - heyyooo!!). So why should this time be any different?

I'll add a picture of the gown. It really is a pretty style.. very simple and plain. The color is almost like in the picture - a slightly different shade of green though. Looks great on the model (and the other two bridesmaids).

I went for my initial measurements back in May, they ordered the gown and I went back the first week in September to try it on. Well it was clearly 9 feet too long - a given -  and since I had lost over 20 lbs since the measurements were taken it was insanely large. No big deal. Hem it up and take it in. Very routine. "Hmmm, we are definitely going to have to use the straps on this one... and we have to sew this in on the sides, this zipper will need to be replaced, I wonder if we can put some sort of seam in the front to keep this closed, see this gap here? Maybe we could taper this ... we'll need to tuck this under a bit ... " Yep. This is how it's been going. I have been for three fittings already and have a fourth coming up next week. I know that this dress will fit me like a glove eventually but getting to that point is nothing short of horrifying. Although the women who work in the shop are very sweet I can't help but feel like I am the most ridiculously shaped girl in the universe. Like nobody has EVER seen the likes of me and I should clearly be wearing a sack-o-burlap instead of a gown.

Their newest drawing board invention is a thicker strap. This IS a strapless gown that does provide spaghetti straps as an option. We tried that option. That option failed. It was like trying to hold up a piano with some dental floss. Please, try not to envision it... I don't want anyone in the ER tonight. The thicker "makeshift" straps looked fantastic and felt so much better. So next Thursday we will find out just how well this adventure turns out. Thankfully, the seamstress is wonderful. They just want me to look my best. That's what we all want, right? I don't want to be the reason the bride can't show her wedding photos to anyone!!

October 8, 2009

you say autumn, i say fall ...

Mums and pumpkins on the front steps. Crisp air. Hoodies and boots. Gingerbread candles. Apple picking. Pumpkin spice coffee. Colored leaves. Fresh coat of paint on the shutters. Windows cracked overnight. Flannel pajama pants. Foliage rides. Cornstalks. Hay bails. Crock pot. Post-season Yankees. Scary movies. Bluer skies. Walks in the woods. The Scituate Art Festival. Corduroys and vests. Jack-o-lanterns. Millions of tea lights. It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

Just a list. Favorite things. Anticipated things. It really is a gem of a season aint it?

October 6, 2009

i wanna hear your tales!! (paranormal poll results...)

Well, its a 50/50 landslide! Half of you responded that you have experienced what you believe to be paranormal activity and I would love to hear about it! Feel free to leave me a comment telling me your story.

For now, you can read about mine if you like....

On my 22nd birthday I awoke early in the morning, rolled onto my side
facing my bedroom windows and gave a little stretch. While stretching, I opened my eyes, for just a second or two, and believe that I saw something a little out of the ordinary. It appeared to be a figure of an altar boy holding a candle. After closing my eyes and re-opening - he was gone - or shall we say he had VANISHED because that sounds cooler. Now, I don't honestly believe that my house was haunted as I had never seen or felt anything strange prior to or following that experience. But it was definitely interesting and has lingered in my mind since. I can still picture the candle, it looked like this:  

That wasn't the only interesting occurrence that I have tucked away for safe keeping. About a year before the altar boy visit, a bunch of friends and I had rented a beach house for a week. I cannot begin to estimate the amount of recreational "fun" that we had in that house. We had 3 garbage barrels overflowing with bottles and cans by the end of the first weekend. So, each time I tell this story I make it clear that we were all a little fuzzy-minded. We all had experiences but I can only recall my own...

I had been in the shower on our second day in the house. The bathroom window was open and I could hear my friends talking in the back yard. I also heard radio stations changing and began humming along with each song as it was changed for a better (or worse) one. When I met back up with my friends at the picnic table I noticed that the radio had a digital tuner. I started playing with it realizing quickly that it wasn't at all what I heard in the shower. I heard the ol' school tuner - you know, the dial that gives you static in between stations. I kept that to myself at the time. That night I encountered more shenanigans. My bedroom was the only one on the first floor, everyone else was upstairs. I awoke to a sneeze outside my door and kindly said "God Bless You" (which really sounds like "bleshu" coming from me). I heard nothing else, no footsteps, no doors opening/closing, no water running. I peeked out to see if any lights were on - there was nobody around. I checked the upstairs rooms and everyone was asleep. Of course I thought that I could have heard a sneeze coming from upstairs but truthfully, their doors were all closed and that sneeze was feet away from me. Something I can't explain. Not saying it was a ghost- just saying it was odd. That same night I awoke to find that my shades had been pulled halfway up the windows. I got out of bed, closed them and went back to sleep. Early morning came and sunlight was blasting me in the face. One shade - halfway up. I closed it and went back to sleep. It stayed closed that time. A morning or two later, I was listening to a CD with my friend Monica. We also had the television on- for what reason I don't know. The television was muted and Teletubbies was on. We were completely startled when we heard the loudly whispered word "Ripple" coming from underneath the TV. We both shot a look at each other at that exact moment - solidifying the fact that we both heard it. We confirmed what we heard by speaking it out loud at the same time. This made total sense to us since we must have played Ripple by The Dead about a thousand times over the course of that week. Crazy. Lastly, on one of our last days there, I was beyond ill - most likely alcohol poisoning. Everyone was going out for the day but since I was vomiting every 15 minutes I thought I'd enjoy the couch instead. Alone in the house, dozing on and off I heard the voices of my friends, Kim and Kristen, out in the front yard. Plain as day I heard that conversation - bickering as usual - they are both so good at that. I expected the screen door to fly open any second as they continued their quarrel. But it never did. I looked outside - not a human to be found. The car wasn't in the driveway, there was no sign of my friends whatsoever. I wasn't dreaming and I know what I heard.

I have been fascinated with ghosts and the paranormal since I was very young and I have done some homework on the matter. It doesn't explain the window shades but it sounds like our beach house was the subject of a residual haunting. There were no feelings of dread or heaviness. I wasn't scared or threatened in the slightest. Nobody felt uneasy - we were all enjoying our stay with no intentions of departing early. I will always remember that week (well, most of it anyway) as one of the most interesting and unique in my life to this day. I'd like to rent it again sometime.

October 2, 2009

paint THIS ...

Paneling Shmaneling.

My mother's house. AKA The ranch that I grew up in. There haven't been too many renovations over the years. A few cosmetic changes here and there but nothing earth-shattering. Every now and then it's nice to give a face-lift to a room that is screaming for attention but draped in 'blah'. A couple of years ago Gregg and I painted my parents' living room from a dull "eggshell" to a light mushroomy color on 3 walls and a weird sort of cranberry on the other. It made all the difference in the world. Today's task = paint the paneling in the hallway along with the trim. My mother took the liberty of sanding the paneling and priming the "grooves" yesterday so that this morning I could waltz in and wreck that bitch. (The paneling, not my mom. She's actually a very sweet woman).

I arrived around 10 am - medium Dunkin' Dark iced coffee in hand ... and oddly enough two sandwiches in my pocketbook. Don't judge me. I have to eat every 3 hours or the clouds will fall straight out of the sky. My ipod was set to the "random 80's junk" playlist on a sweet ass shuffle, sneakers on, hair tied back, step stool (naturally) in place, wet rags, brushes, rollers, trays, newspaper, towels, every light turned on, doors and windows open - ready, set ... do it.

I started out strong ... priming can be fun when you don't have to be NEAT. I was sloppin' that stuff on like mad. Slathering, if you will.

Ahhh yes ... it is apparent that I had found my groove here ---->

... and that groove was clearly
George Michael's "Monkey".

I had a moment of smugness when I started putting the color on the walls. "This will be done in no time" I chuckled to myself. Yeah. Keep chuckling, Sheri.

After 2 coats of paint (cutting in and rolling) that wall was looking fierce. And uneven. I shook my fist at it as it dried funny. Rotten joke paint.

But just six and a half short hours later ... the finished product was clearly phenomenal. Well, no it wasn't either but the key thing is that we didn't HATE it. Hey, I didn't pick the color. Truth is you could smear buffalo blood on the wall and it would still look better than paneling. Light or dark, that stuff is for the birds.

Conclusion - paint on the forehead (so cliché - I actually hate myself for having that stereotypical mishap) ... my nails are a hot mess and I feel like a 97 year old woman who just rode a bicycle 64 miles through an ocean of tsunamis. 

And I'd do it all again ... D.I.Y. muthaf$&#@! 

October 1, 2009

i aint goin down there again ...

WHAT is it about a basement that immediately triggers an uneasy feeling that just behind those cardboard boxes lurks a filthy, crazed maniac with grease under his fingernails, wearing a ripped flannel shirt, wranglers and a skully? Is it the creepy, too-small windows that you know you couldn't crawl out of if someone/thing was barreling towards you with over-sized, overly-sharp death weapons? Is it that musty, dusty scent that lingers at nose level regardless of what candle you burn? Is it the bare, concrete walls and floors that have been a stranger to a mop and sponge since you first moved in? Perhaps the bug carcasses scattered strategically around so that no matter where you step there is something to say "eek" about. Or maybe it's those random items left on shelves by previous owners - you know - the paint cans, the varnish, the wooden baseball bat, the yoga mat, bolts of hideous pink fabric ... etc. (For the record, if you are moving and have cleaned EVERY other inch of the house including the cellar, why not just take the bat and the mat? Why leave your child's set of crutches behind? You can't tell me that you didn't throw an inSANE amount of belongings away before the big move. These were the possessions that would have broken the camel's back so-to-speak? Would it have killed you to get rid of your own paint cans? Did you truly believe with all your heart and soul that we would one day need that 8 year old bubble-gum-pink paint to touch up the living room and never be able to find it in stores?? Please. Not that I am salty about it.) Anyway, as I was saying, I hate me a basement.

In my old apartment we had The Silence of the Lambs cellar. Broken, stone walls that wound around like a maze, weird things spray painted on them. There were holes in the walls as if the Kool Aid guy had come blasting through. It was a splendid place for a washer and dryer. I begged Gregg to do the laundry almost always. This was the "centipede apartment". I was horrified enough seeing them in my super clean dwelling - I certainly did not need to see them slithering all over the cement walls. Shiver. Vomit. Gross.

Growing up I wasn't really petrified of my cellar. I didn't prefer it to my bright and cheery bedroom, but I spent some time down there. I was never a scaredy cat and I was always a dare-devil of sorts. However, I do remember a time when my brother put on Thriller and then shut the lights off on me ... I cowered behind the bar until he lit the place up again. Navigating my way upstairs in the dark was out of the question. I closed my eyes figuring that I wouldn't realize how dark it was in the room if my eyes were closed! Pretty smart huh? Ahh shut it, I was only a kid. But I was always more afraid of the possibility that millions of insects could be crawling around than I was of your typical brain-craving zombie in a torn tuxedo. Although, I'll admit that on occasion I did get the feeling that a monster was following behind me as I climbed the stairs to safety... and I ran up those stairs somethin' fierce.

This is all very amusing to me... these things that I fear.  Gregg and I are huge fans of Ghost Hunters and we would both love to have access to the amazing "haunted" places that are investigated on the series. I can tell you with sincerity that I believe I would have no problem walking around abandoned mental hospitals, prisons, farm houses, graveyards etc. But when it comes to bug infested basements and spider-ridden attics - I would not be up to the task.

** Please spend a second taking the poll at the top of my page. Just for shits and giggles. Thanks!

back to basics ...

... trying on clothes without homicide 

... my mom's 
... the gregg 'home from work' smooch 
... gray shirt, navy blue hoodie 
... medium length should cover it 
... certainly not a model but never broke any mirrors either 
... rosemary's baby 
... by my lonesome 
... egg-whites and wheat toast 
... water 
... everytime i watch the ASPCA commercials 
... my mom 
... yes yes yes 
... "stop daydreaming" to a distracted brody while calling him inside
... right in front of me eyes 
... hazel 
... i am not in fact left-handed
... wow. really? shr 
... chief brody 
... barbados honeymoon 
... never having enough money 
... brody playing with the squeakiest crocodile in town 
... gingerbread coffee 
... toss up between blueberry and fresh cut grass 
... that's easy! gregg, silly!! and clark griswold.
... i believe i was fast asleep 
... april 25th 
... hmmm i am sure i don't know
... holy mackerel ... maybe 12-15 yrs ago 
... once in a while i do 
... food mart, powerball ticket 
... satisfied 
... nope 
... my wedding rings 
... um my wedding rings 
... good ol' fb 
... just over 100 
... i sure have - all done with that though 
... always english and art 
... no sir 
... lol boy or girl ... hmm the one without braces i guess (just kidding i totally had braces) 
... nope it's all on the table 
... always on my mind - willie nelson 
... don't i ???  i just sang 'you are my sunshine' to brody (and then he dug two holes in the yard) and i realize that song is pretty sad ... sheesh
... writer
... north carolina 
... uno fratello 
... thankfully, no, nothing good can come of that 
... i need a magic 'close the windows' wand
... i occasionally partake in festive spirit-consuming 
... no i do not 
... not since i lost my decoder ring. sigh. 
... several .. and the next one is october 24th :) 
... no, not yet 
... i hardly ever take naps - i sleep well at night 
... my friend amy, and al pacino
... john stamos hahha
... no, i truly do not 
... discourtesy, anything cliché, cockiness 
... why yes, i am texting, playing with brody and doing this lovely survey 
... i do, yes 
... cleaning the shower/tub 
... to get a powerball ticket 
... once 
... rhode island 
... during high school i wanted to join the Air Force but i am not sure i could handle the authority 
... $150 
... gregg and his camping trip coming up :) 
... on the phone w/cass
... estimate around 40 
... yes 
... 7 in the ears 
... i have my dress fitting 
... a few times - i'm not good at "stopping" 
... i am a pretty constant updater 
... i love them 
... disneyworld when i was 14 
... peter griffin? homer simpson? hmm i am sure there is ONE but i can't think of it.
... egg-whites 
... chiiiiiilllllyyyyy 56 degrees and cloudy - welcome, autumn 
... don't i ?? 
... nothing comes to mind 
... please. still have the remains of last weeks cold. 
... only RI 
... i would truly love to move 
... no ... i can't say that i do 
... i like the acura mdx's - but i don't really have a dream car
... naturally 
... in my freshly painted, obnoxiously large, sea-side, victorian home with new floors, windows, plumbing and  electric, sitting on the front porch wrapped up in a blanket, sipping gingerbread coffee and writing.
90. Are you happy with your life? ... i truly am. would i love to be filthy rich? YUP. but other than typical debt stress and pipe dreams - i couldn't be happier.